I have private medical insurance. I have had it with the same company for about 30 years. And other than a few instances (new shoulder; what they reckoned was a ‘tma’ but I think otherwise as every test out of about a million came up negative, but there ya go) I’ve been a net loser. I pay my money and I don’t get ill. And although my insurers were taken over by AXA a few years ago, they still act as if they’re a nice, small, non-profit, almost caring(!!) bunch. They answer the phones. Yeah, honest. And the person you speak to will be the only person you need. And they’re charming to deal with. And don’t charge excesses on anything. Because we’re somehow hooked into the plan we had when we started and they keep things the same. God bless ‘em.

But now, it’s payback time for them. I seem to have an appointment a week. I have my own parking space at Highgate Hospital. The receptionist knows how I take my coffee.

I had my mole removed on my belly. I miss it every day. And the biopsy came back; it’s not cancer. Thank the God I don’t believe in. BUTTTT… it’s something unpronounceable which they treat as if it WAS cancer. Oh. So they want to remove another chunk of me, around where the mole was, to be ‘safe’. I’ll be 24gms lighter. Maybe 26. But with a big hole in my belly.

I came back from Croatia with ears so blocked they had virtually ceased to function in any hearing relevant kind of way. They served only to slow me down on my bike with their wind resistance. I saw an ear-doc, it wasn’t infected, nor waxed up, some other, more subtle problem. Sorted with drops. Better than having great chunks cut out of my ears too.

And now, this very morning, I was running round the tennis court like a… like someone who shouldn’t be running round a tennis court, when something deep, painful and seemingly catastrophic occurred in my left hip. Which, if I’m honest (something I try to avoid), has been bothering me for about 3 weeks now, but I ignore. Other than the ibuprofen I’ve been self-administering for the last 2. Lot of fucking use that turned out to be. I was just stretching for a shot and KA-BOOM!!!, an invisible alien put a pick axe through my hip. A horrible, sudden and intensely… horrible event. I think I won the point. Hope so. It may be my last for a while.

So I’m gonna go get a scan. See a doc. Get help. They need to get me back on the tennis court as soon as possible. It’s a terrible loss to the whole game.

And by having private medicine, just think of the benefits to the nation. To the NHS. I’m not seeing their doctors, clogging up waiting lists (I’m not one of life’s natural ‘waiters’) or wasting NHS time. I’m so benevolent. Even in pain.

Happy HEALTHY Saturday

A xxxx