Last night at midnight was the deadline for posting gender pay gap figures for the year. For big companies. Failure to comply would result in directors having a compulsory night out at Hooters. And the figures are… unequivocal. Generally, ‘men get paid more than women’. Some companies have ‘reduced their gender pay gap’ whilst others have either, probably, increased it or it remains the same. Guessing that cos I’m no statistician. Some airlines have pay gaps of over 40%. And that would really deserve a massive ‘!!!!!!!!’ if the numbers weren’t such a load of bollocks. Or ovaries, maybe.

The ‘pay gap’ is calculated by listing all the men’s salaries, in rank order, and all the women’s and comparing just the central or median of each group. So, depending on how many employees you have at each level, you might be comparing a cleaner with an office manager. Or a pilot with an window cleaner. Or a stripper with a barman (not including tips).

So its pretty meaningless. I bet that method of analysis was created by a woman. They’re shit with numbers.

Until they can work out how to compare gender salaries for those doing the same or equivalent jobs, spare us the banner headlines which create more of the problem rather than any nod to a solution.

But I am, as you know, a feminist, in all but my testicles. (Men CAN be feminists, you know, it is allowed). And, with 2 daughters, both working for ‘big companies’ and one granddaughter working for… well, working very hard, I have a vested interest in equality and female empowerment.

Thus was interested to read that a feminist of the female variety has instructed women to wear the shortest mini-skirts they can find. Because a massive proportion of young men (I’m thinking on the streets of Cardiff, Sunderland, Birmingham, 3am on a Sunday, beer cans in hand, singing drunkenly post-pub/bar/club looking for a shag or a fight, not fussed either way) think that women who wear short skirts and drink are basically ‘begging for it’. Thus in protest, in the interest of ‘empowerment’ women must take control, at least of their wardrobes, and wear micro-mini. That’ll fucking show them. And I agree. And for even more female empowerment, might as well get yer tits out. Just sayin’… errrr… to my ‘sisters’.

Happy Friday

A xxxx