So the race for ‘new Boris’ has started in earnest. And in just one day, the field reduced from 11 starters to just 8 remaining to the next round. The problem for the other three was that they needed just 20 MPs to back them and show support but Sajid David, Grant Shapps and some other infinitely easily-forgotten face simply don’t have that many mates. And so we’re left with the ‘hot favourites’ who now have all released videos. Yes, because of the structure of British politics, we don’t have a culture of personality. We vote for ideals, philosophy, policy and tax. So to present the candidates as would-be rock stars kind of goes against the low-key Westminster ethos. Hiring Ridley Scott to direct the video is possibly taking it too far. And a complete waste of money.

The runners and riders remaining are as follows:

1. Rishi Rich.
Ex-chancellor, very popular with everyone except those who really hate him.

2.Liz Truss.
So good they named her after a surgical appliance. And retains the theme of ‘blonds in number 10’ and thus immediately garners the support of suck-up half-wits, Jacob Rees-Mog and Nadine Dorries.

3. Kenny Badenoch.
As the diversity minister she ticks every single box available. Is charming, very clever and down to earth. And would thus make a perfect leader for the Labour Party. The Tories elected a woman as leader once, and look what happened.

4. Nadine Zahawi.
The Chancellor. Not sure I trust him. For any number of reasons, none of them good.

5. Tom Dis’n’dhat.
The ‘we don’t do personality politics’ candidate.

6. Penny Morbid.
Remember her vaguely from the Theresa May years. Faded fast from memory and probably not returning any time soon.

7. Suella de Ville.
Attorney General. Hard right. But made a fantastic speech hi-lighting the stupidity of gender issues in schools.

8. Jeremy C-.
It’s not that I can’t think of anything notable to say about this man, who makes John Major look positively ‘rainbow’, but every rhyme I try just ends there.

Why are they all talking about tax when the public aren’t even voting?
Why is it relevant whether candidates were ‘Brexiteers’ or not? When that boat sailed years ago?

More voting today, more exiting than Wimbledon.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx