I’m a official penshoner. Therefore, I can moan. It’s what’s expected of me. When I was 65 it wasn’t allowed but now its mandatory. And not just to moan, but in fact to re-moan. Which is being miserable specifically about Brexit. Which I have been since the votes were counted. Albeit illegally because I wasn’t getting me pension then.

But I’ve been waiting for a few years now to see these alleged Brexit benefits. In fact, to see just one benefit. Getting an email the other day from UPS querying an invoice for goods coming from France. From a company for whom they’ve been delivering consistently since January 1st 2021. It asked me to ‘give the value for the 0.00 priced goods’. As in, there were spectacle frames, charged, and cases and cloths, zero.

So why UPS suddenly need to query something that they’ve encountered hundreds or thousands of times previously, and how they can actually ask: ‘how much is something which costs nothing?’ I think counts as a Brexit benefit. Along with all the other vat bollocks which we now have to try and demystify every month.

Along with looking forward to buying visas for trips to Berlin, Paris, Rome and… other European places. And no longer using UK phone allowances over there too. They’re big benefits.

Queuing half way down the M2 because the French are the most annoyingly obstructive nation in the world is another benefit. Because before Brexit they had no cause to ‘make un point’ and now they do. Stroppy fuckers.

But the real benefits are, as promised, the 315 million pounds a day going into the NHS! Which is brilliant and precisely why our health service is working in such a fantastically efficient manner with no staff issues whatsoever now that all the Europeans have left. I’m not sure whether the departure of GPs from active service can be blamed on Brexit but we might as well throw it in there. Along with the 2 year waits for routine operations because the hospitals are having to take up the immense slack of the sick folk the GPs no longer see. There’s no-one to pick crops and restaurants are replacing horrible east European staff with horrible British staff, when they can find them. Otherwise its self-service all the way.

So I’m converted. Brexit was the best idea since… giving Prince Andrew a passport. The finest since… Hitler became chancellor in 1933. Or Boris becoming PM in 2018.

Ok, I’ve remoaned, I feel better now.

Happy Sunday

A xxxx