There was a fashion, back in the 1930s for ‘reductionism’ in all sciences. Breaking things down to the smallest possible parts in order to understand them. We found atoms, then broke them down into protons and neutrons, ever searching for further understanding and way to destroy Japanese cities totally and very efficiently. We researched bodies to find blood cells and nerve ganglia and all kinds of really tiny, microscopic things. Like certain penises. (Sorry, can’t ever resist a ‘nob-joke’.) But when they applied this reductionist paradigm to ‘the mind’, as opposed to ‘the brain’, it all failed. Because you can only observe behaviour, not thought, nor intention. And writing your name on a postcard is behaviourally identical to signing a cheque for 23 million pounds. It’s all about context and the fact that the world is a complicated place.

And this is what Artificial Intelligence has to cope with. Reducing every behaviour into a binary code for a computer to use. Not just behaviour, but facts, contexts, rules, regulations and social norms. Everything coded so computers can act like humans. Ok, the spouting of facts is easy; writing essays, within a given context and format; piece’a piss! And then they have to ruin it all by obsessing about ‘diversity and inclusivity’. So, now famously, if you ask Google Gemini to show you ‘a Nazi’, he (or sometimes she) will be black. Not just because ‘irony’ is virtually impossible to code, but because AI defaults to ridiculous woke concepts of minority representation. To the point where it won’t show you ‘a white man’ because that is prejudicial. Though, again with lost irony, this is actually prejudicial against white people. Though they deserve it, fucking privileged, white bastards! I’m also going to complain that Jews should be represented as Nazis too or we’ll feel discriminated against as well.

And that all might affect my ‘mental health’. Which, according to another article today, has made a school change its policy on allowing pupils to wear false eyelashes. (Note: I said ‘pupils’ not ‘gels’ because I’d be no better than an AI ‘bot’ if I were to be so stupidly straight and hetero-normal as to presume anything so offensive). Because removal of these lashes leads to… yup, ‘mental health issues’.

And I was happy when I read that. Because it has resolved for me the basis of this total fucking epidemic of ‘mental health issues’. When what they mean is: they’re pissed off. Any kid who doesn’t get his/her/its/their own way pulls the MHI card and everyone falls at their feet in supplication. “Yes, wear false eyelashes, and your Kim Kardashian body-suit; that’s fine for school and should improve your maths no end, and take this money, and… ANYTHING!!!”

‘Mental health issues’ are for the depressed, the clinically ‘not right’ and anyone chewing bricks. Except Joey, who chews them for fun.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx