OMG!!! Meg and Haz are ‘leaving’!!! They’re going!!! It’s like they’re contestants on ‘Love Palace’ and they’ve both been voted off!!! And I’m distraught. Devastated. Don’t know if or how I’ll ever get over this. It is THAT catastrophic for ME, personally. And there’s even talk of ‘un-royaling’ them if they move to Canada to live with the Lehbergs and the Polar Bears. Royal Rule number 2258353/ahe73:23vvde/72a states that, eh-hum, “… forsooth and forthwith and pursuant to royal leavage by parties of a previously royalish disposition but whoth shalt instead turn to common trading to earn their crustage, shall be removed from the honourable honours of honourdom and thereafter be treated similarly to that ginger tart, Fergie, and become thereafter HRH-less in perpetuity…” (King Harold, 1066, just prior to the arrow).

Prince Harry will still be a Prince, I’m guessing, but won’t be… something else in his title-ability, which currently stretches to 19 pages of A4. He can afford to lose a couple. (Protector of the Grand Dutchy of Rutland, Chief Patron of the Knights of the not quite so round table, Slayer of Valendor the Magnificent!, etc., etc…) It’ll save a fortune on printing costs. Whereas Meg will lose her HRH and be known as ‘that Yank bitch wot stole our Prince’ in all correspondence. Certainly all correspondence initiated by the Daily Mail or Mirror or Sun.

But what’s really pissed me off is that they never asked me first. Before deciding on this lifestyle change of an in-vegan nature. In fact they never asked the Queen either, so she’s none too pleased either and wrote a rather nasty little press release stating one’s displeasure.

But how will they cope? Harry n Meg??? How will they go from butlers and footmen and private secretaries and personal secretaries and carriages and horses and security and all that paraphernalia, to just being ‘the Windsors wot lives darn the road’? They’ll probably have to get on a council housing list, assuming they have such things in Toronto. Queue up at food banks. She’ll have to go back to work. Actressing again. And he’ll have to look for a job as… as… well, as a Prince. How hard can that be down the job centre? “I’m good at cutting ribbons” it will say on his application.

Ok, so she’s actually rich and he’s worth at least 30 million quid by all accounting, so maybe they can eat for a bit. And they have several houses lying around in various countries. But still. BUT STILL!!!!

It’s harder to leave the royal family than it is to leave the Mafia. So it would appear. But Harry and Meg are right in what they’re doing. They’ve been the most loved of all royals since Arthur the Third (1427-1457) and what did it get them? Slated by the gutter press, racially abused by the legions, derided just for taking a few private jets to Climate Change meetings and all manner of other petty shit which, as Royals, they have to just ‘take’ or ‘turn the other cheek’. But as non-Royals they can just say a big FUCK YOU to all those slimebags and shitheads and go away. They tried being Royals but it was just made too hard for them, even with all that apparent love.

Good luck to them.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx