The new, American super-space rocket was launched yesterday amid the usual fanfare. It’s the biggest rocket ever built, in true U.S. style, it has a 7-litre V8, supercharged… well, it has the rocket equivalent of ‘outrageous excess’ in that it is basically one rocket with two extra ones (‘boosters’) strapped to the sides for more power, more thrust, more ooomph, more fucking EVERYTHING!!!! It produces more carbon emissions than 92 million Greta Thunbergs all burning together.

But it didn’t take off. Oh. The crowds had been gathering around Cape Canaveral for days, in their rolling homes, ready for the long wait, eager for a good slot. Which, for people in Florida is not so much ‘with a view of the launch-pad’, but in fact ‘near the barbecue and beer stalls’. And they waited, and counted down, as ya do, and when it was just T minus 40 minutes… they abandoned. The rockets were leaking fuel. One leak was repaired but the others were a bigger problem, then they couldn’t cool the engines properly and they had to call it to a halt. You don’t send $xxxxx,000,000 of rocket to the moon and not get it back. They need to put it on eBay next week to recoup some of the cost.

And my first thought was ‘WTF???’

Because how do you do ‘leak’ in something that costs billions? Ok, as they said, ‘it’s new and we’re still snagging’, but holy shit, a fucking leak? They ran out of sealant? If Elon Musk had built it it wouldn’t leak. This is deeply embarrassing. A ‘Titanic moment’ was averted, but without the iceberg. But really? I mean, really??? Is that the best they can do? In 1969 they managed to put two men on the moon in a rocket built from washing up liquid bottles and sellotape. And this is what its come to.

Bournemouth lose 9-nil to Liverpool and sack their manager. Why would they do that?Ok, it was something of a ‘bad day at the office’ but to sack Scotty Parker? The man who just a few months ago had brought them the glory of a return to the Premiership. Loses a game, ok, rather catastrophically, but does that move actually do any good? The players will hate it, the fans will hate it and pretty well all neutrals hate it too. Sometimes… sometimes…

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx