Last night was the first televised debate, giving the public the opportunity to see the 5 Prime Ministerial candidates that they won’t be able to vote for. But we need to see them anyway. It’s important. So we can understand the fundamentals of their core political stances and underlying philosophy. If it was up to me, I’d strap a hunting knife to one hand, give them a club in the other and put them in the ring all together. Unfortunately I don’t get a vote in that either. Thus, we let them speak. And speak they did.

They spoke about tax. And Rishi Sunak won that, as he would, being the Chancellor until a couple of weeks ago. (Those ‘long time in politics’ weeks.) But Rishi’s economical pragmatism, delivered with slick confidence, could also be his greatest flaw. Because by thinking of the all-important long-term financial goals, his fiscal prudence for ‘the nation’ at this moment ignores the fact that a growing proportion of that nation are struggling to feed their kids right now. And while Nero fiddled while Rome burned, Rishi is building a new swimming pool in one of his houses as England starves. Thus affecting his vote-worthiness once the time comes when we plebs DO get to vote.

Liz Truss was at a dinner party she couldn’t cancel (you know how sensitive some people are) so she sent a wooden replica instead. Which was just like Liz Truss, but stiffer.

Kenny Badenoch (yes, I KNOW its not her real name but its one I like) impressed, but then got hung up on a ‘woke’ issue with Penny Mordaunt. And I’d just like to point out that the trans vote currently sits at 0.0034% of the population and, safe to say, NONE of them are Tory voters. So can we per-lease move on. Talking about the quality of toilet paper in hospital toilets is also important, but its not for NOW, not for HERE.

Penny was fluent but a bit stumbling. Though is massively popular with the Conservative Party members. Or she was until they learned she’d approved self identification for trans people. Otherwise not a great deal of substance.

And Tommy Tugendhat. He was in the army, ya know? If you didn’t before, you certainly know it now as it was mentioned 78 times in 23 minutes of air time. Other than that he seems like a nice boy. But not one sufficiently… anything to represent our fine nation.

The next debate is on Sunday. We will learn more. From what I can see, its Rishi’s to lose but I’m sure as you’re reading this there is an army of researchers and diggers looking at his bank records over the last 20 years, how much he spends on Champagne and the cost of the cheapest mug in his kitchen. Because its going to get dirty. It must do. I sincerely hope so, anyway.

Happy hot Saturday

A xxxx