…Britannia rules the waves… (all join in!).

Nothing like a rousing song to start the day. I feel better now. Until I look and see that us wave-ruling, sea-faring Brits have a navy comprising merely 19 ships. No aircraft carriers, no… big things with nuclear shit, just 19 paltry vessels. Destroyers and Frigates. Which, presumably, destroy and… do other things, respectively.

Its a big problem. Should we go to war (again) or need to defend our shores, although ships seem slow and lumbering, they’re always the way to win such things. I suppose that if such a thing happened, we’d just be dependant on the navies of our close friends and colleagues. Like Europe. Hmmmmm. Or American. Hmmmmmm…

They’ve given Trump his phone back. After it was confiscated for sending out stupid tweets during the presidential campaign, The Don is back on Twitter. Saturday Night Live took the piss out of Melania. Its a satirical, current affairs comedy show. A brilliant one that’s run for about 40 years during which time the show has spawned all of America’s top comedians and comedy actors. Trump tweeted: ‘SNL totally one-sided, biased and nothing funny at all’. Yet if Hillary had won, they’d have ripped into her. Its what that show does, its what comedy is. So to all the incoming president’s much lauded faults and flaws, we must now add: ‘no sense of humour whatsoever’. And: ‘moron’. Oh, we already had ‘moron’. Think it warrants entering twice.

But Britannia may indeed rule the skies. ‘We’ have invented a new thing. A kind of ‘motor’ that runs with no propellant. Nuffink. “What?!?!?” you shout in a fit of Newtonian outrage, “that’s against the laws of physics!!!” Ok, it runs on microwaves, which to me is ‘something’ as they have to be produced, but for some reason the scientific world seems to view them as some kind of irrelevance, so the EmDrive runs on nothing. And it produces tiny amounts of power, like really tiny, but that’s enough to keep it going to Mars. And beyond! Because space is a vacuum so this thing would just keep on accelerating, like me driving in the rain, but slower.

We’ve given the technology to the Americans because we can’t afford to develop it. We’re spending all our money tarting up Buckingham Palace. Otherwise the Queen would be down to her last 3 palaces/castles and how is anyone supposed to live with just 635 rooms at their personal disposal. Unthinkable.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx