We live in a commercial world. Not always in a good way. Everything has its price. As you may note observing the FIFA fiasco in which World Cup hosting bids were accompanied by bribes and bungs and cases full of cash.

A few years ago we had the ‘cash for honours’ scandal when donors to political parties were promised peerages for ‘donations’. Is that just quid pro quo? (In this case, a lot of quids), the rewarding of party loyalty with an honour, or were people just buying what they want from people who are happy to abuse the system for their own (party) gains?

So its comforting in a way to see an organisation as old and conservative and seemingly unchanging as the Roman Catholic Church getting its serene and monastic head around the concept that everything has a price and we can make a shitload of money by selling stuff.

Like a Sainthood. You wanna be a saint? No problem, its 750,000 Euros, per-lease. Ok, there are certain issues that it would be imprudent to change, like the need to have been dead for a hundred years or so. You couldn’t be a living saint. Even though I am often referred to in just those terms, albeit in the metaphorical sense. Probably only because I don’t have a spare 750k to hand or maybe they’d bend the rules.Yeah, we’ll all be dead pretty soon anyway, so no point fussing over details, you can be a saint tomorrow, cost you a mil. And we’ll throw in the halo.

But no, this is not some ‘bung’, some ‘bribe’, some payment for beatification. Heaven forbid. Literally so. No, this is ‘fees’, charged by the committee who investigate worthiness for sainthood. And even though these geezers (no fuckin’ women, that’s for sure, not at the Vatican, at the pointed end) are all following a life of poverty, sacrifice and humility, having a few bob in your cassock never goes amiss. Poverty never felt so good as at the seat of a Ferrari.

There’s a book out tomorrow, revealing secrets at the Vatican. Cash for Sainthood, dirty dealings, money scandals, not sure about sex, drugs and Rock & Roll, but we’ll wait and see.

Blessed Wednesdasy

A xxxx