Mark Zuckerberg, in an uncharacteristically modest gesture, has re-branded his web-site (which, like Voldemort, must not be named) and from now on will be known as The Hate-Peddling Site for the Promotion of Eating Disorders, Fake News, Juvenile Suicides and Body Dysmorphia, whilst making Me the RICHEST FUCKER ON THE PLANET. Dot com. Quite catchy. Make sure you don’t make a typo when you first enter it online. But there’s no need to worry. Its still the same ‘underneath’. You can still bully, cajole, groom, blackmail, threaten and upset in the just the same ways as before.

In fact the abbreviated name is META. Which is Greek word meaning ‘TOSSER’. Ok, I made that up out of spite and contempt, because in reality Zuckerberg named his site after the 5th meta-tarsal which both David Beckham and Wayne Rooney broke during their careers. And it sounds much better than ‘HAMSTRING’, the second choice.

But actually, ‘meta’ is a prefix. Not usually used alone. And it signifies ‘over and beyond’, it means something so over-riding that it becomes self-referential, so vast that it is beyond limits, beyond fucking everything except making shit-loads of cash at everyone else’s expense and then not paying any tax on it. That kind’a thing. ‘Big’ is the message. To let us know not how massively vast and immense the ’empire’ now is, but how big, how vast, how far-reaching and all-encompassing its going to be.

Because to be that successful that young, so able to see what is wanted, needed, what might make things easier, quicker, to have that foresight and ability, you need to be a megalomaniac. And, like Elon Musk, like Jeff Bezos, Zuckerberg probably realises that he’s never going to win a beauty contest or a popularity competition, and he, in all likelihood, from behind all those billions, probably don’t give a shit. He controls the world. And the money, at that level, is irrelevant in itself, but massive in its representation of ‘how powerful I am’. ‘Billions’ is the new penis measure for tech giants. Whatever you choose to call them.

Happy Saturday

Kevin xxxx