Much as I have no time for statisticians; those evil, mercenary, sold-to-the-highest-bidder quasi know-alls who can ‘prove’ whatever the hell they want, depending on who is paying for the ‘independent research’, I have endless time for proper scientists. And you kind’a need endless time really, when contemplating the universe…

Astronomers have found a new planet. Wow; that’s interesting. There are, in our galaxy alone, millions upon millions of stars, each of which probably has half a dozen or so planets circling them. Its what planets do. They get no choice in the matter. Because the matter of which they are made, which condensed some time after the Big Bang, was sucked into the gravitational orbit of the nearest star. We’re all attracted to ‘stars’, its nothing new, didn’t just begin with Hello! magazine, ya know. Pre-dates it by about 14 billion years. Even before Keith Richards was born. Though you wouldn’t know it to look at him.

This new planet is very exciting. Try to contain yourself. Firstly its ‘star of choice’ is probably our own sun’s nearest neighbour at just 5 light years away. That’s so close that Usain Bolt could run that in about 5 million years, though if his girlfriend was waiting in Jamaica, he’d probably stop a few times for shag-stops along the way. As he does.

The star which the planet circles is Promixa Centauri and the planet is called, sweetly, I think, Proxima B. Nice. But here’s the amazing (ish) thing. And all this is bit difficult because Proxima Centauri is not a big bright star that dazzles in the night sky. No. Its a ‘red dwarf’, which are quite dull. They are the Jeremy Corbyns of the celestial world. So you can’t see Proxima C. with any normal (and I mean ‘normal’ for NASA) telescopes. However, that didn’t stop them finding a ‘blip’ in its light pattern, which could only be accounted for by a planet. And not just any planet, but one ‘a bit like Earth’. It has New York, a Great Wall of China… ok, not that much like Earth. This is the astonomer’s version of ‘a bit like Earth’. In that it orbits in the range of its star that creates the possibility of liquid water. And if your water is liquid, you can sell it in silly bottles with French names and make a killing.

Sorry, if water is liquid, as opposed to ice or steam, then there’s the possibility of life there!!!! We have to assume its not more evolved than us (you call THIS evolution??? Jesus fucking Christ) otherwise the inhabitants would already be here. Talking to us, invading us, communicating with us, eating us, whatever. But life. Maybe.

The mere fact that it is theoretically ‘inhabitable’ has the press calling it a ‘new home’. Estate Agents are already advertising apartments there. The mobile networks are bidding for rights there.

It is exciting though. In that sciency way.

Happy Thursday, boldly going wherever,

A xxxx