I have but one question regarding the now seemingly distinct possibility that Scotland may gain the independence it (or some of it) desires. And its not a question about currency. Nor how long the North Sea oil will last (Alex Salmond says “almost forever”, people in the oil biz say “about 3 weeks”), nor whether the Queen will remain head of state there or if they intend to burn Balmoral to the ground in the ultimate statement. My question is whether our planned, Summer 2015 trip to the whisky distilleries will go ahead. Will the distilleries still be open? Will the borders be open? Will I need a passport, like travelling to France, Spain or any other hostile nation, or will it be like going from Italy to Germany with gates up and no-one there at the sentry post?

Ok, that’s about 6 questions and I’m not really done yet. Though most of the others are about the whisky, because its much nicer than Scotland and politics.

Scotland may devolve. Good word. And odd because of all British people half of the Scots haven’t yet quite evolved properly, so they’re going to miss out on the last of the Darwinism and go straight to devolution. Part of the revolution. For their intstitutions.

How many Scots voted for their football team to lose to Germany last night? Eh??

I’ve wanted to do the whisky tour for ages. So has Mel. She’ll drink anything. Preferably everything. She can’t help it; her dad’s Scottish. And I have lots of friends who are whisky connoisseurs, whisky experts, whisky devotees. You know; drunk snobs. And my problem is; I can’t tell the fucking difference. Give me Tescos 2-for-1 bargain basement Skoch (made in Taiwan so you have to be careful with the name) and I can’t distinguish it from the finest, 24-year-old, barely-half-a-malt, McTavish-Glenhoddle, made with the water that Scotsmen sweat off under their sporrans. (Eeeuuuwww). So I need an education in such matters. And driving round the Highlands with a bottle in one hand and a phone in the other getting progressively pissed all day (and all night) seems a great way to become a more rounded person. And peole say its very pretty up there too. Can’t imagine it myself with the nearest skyscraper about 700 miles away, but there ya go.

And if, as the polls are starting to indicate, their nation votes YES, will Alex Salmond become their chief? Will that smug, pompous little shit get his face on the postage stamps? Can we go back to hating Andy Murray in the way he should be hated? Can Prince Charles still wear a kilt? Can we watch old Billy Connolly videos? More importantly, will Scottish footballers be counted as ‘foreigners’ under the new team limits?

We must consider all facets of this debate.

Happy monday

A xxxx