“WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT ON YOUR COMPUTER???” “OPEN THIS DOOR!!!”

“I’m just looking at porn, honest”.

“SHOW ME YOUR SCREEN NOW!!!”

“Look, I told you, its just lesbian anal threesomes with baseball bats and engine oil”

“WHAT’S ON THAT OTHER SCREEN; THAT ONE THERE!!!”

“Its nuffink; Kazakhstani choir boys with Catholic priests and donkeys, honest!”

“ITS NOT!!! YOU’RE LOOKING AT THE LEAGUE TABLE AGAIN, AREN’T YOU!!!!”

Spurs are second in the league. First is Leicester, second is Spurs. Tottenham Hotspurs. 2nd. In the league. The Premiership. Arsenal could overtake us today, but they’d have to win 17 nil at Bournemouth to do so.

But you know what? Even in this most glorious of times for MY team, I have to just take a moment for Leicester City. The team that so nearly weren’t even in the league this season as they so narrowly avoided the relegation that so many thought inevitable. Leicester, before the season started, were 5000-1 odds to win the league. Longer odds than given to any other team.

Their season looked so precarious that they dared not buy any players. Sensible. So they started the year with a team that cost, collectively, £22.5 million. And that’s the team they still have. That’s approximately Gareth Bale’s right leg. Not his left one; that’d cost you 48 mil. Its Raheem Stirling, but only from the waist up. And he’s not really fit to wipe Riyad Mahrez’s (400,000 quid, if you can believe) nose.

And this humble Leicester side went to the mighty Etihad Stadium to play 250 million quid’s worth of Manchester City superstars. The club where money is never, ever any kind of problem. They buy players like others buy a Starbucks coffee. Just because they fancy. Their books never balance, their bankroll limited only by the oil supply in the Emirates and they represent pretty much everything that is wrong, horrible, immoral and vile about the modern game.

But Leicester won. Didn’t just win, they thrashed Man City. Which was wonderful for Leicester and wonderful for Spurs. Whose win against Watford put us above the Mancs.

Second in the league. Pinch me again, but pinch me harder.

Obscenely happy Sunday

A xxxx