Thomas Hitzlsperger is gay.

He ‘came out’ the other day, having now retired from professional football due to health reasons. If playing for West Ham can be considered ‘professional football’. I don’t know how you’d describe what the Hammers do currently, but ‘football’ would not readily be the term that springs to mind.

Thomas didn’t come out whilst still playing the game. Whereas a real man would have done. I think that needs a moment to ponder.

Its only the fourth time this has happened in football.

Justin Fashanu came out then killed himself tragically.

John Terry and Frank Lampard have been lovers for years.
And now Tommy the German.

The entire Arsenal football team, and most of its supporters are famously gay too, but haven’t collectively ‘come out’ just yet.

So Tommy Hitlsperger. Why is it a big deal, front page news, messages of support, write-ups, comment. Why does it even justify mention? When the gay rights act was passed in 1847, (just a few years before Oscar Wilde was imprisoned for sodomy, so maybe the dates need attention), when gay marriage is just upon us, when equality rules the land, equal opportunity for all and a legislative lack of discrimination to all mankind except Romanians?

Because its football.

Actors can be gay. In fact they should be. Singers, lawyers, accountants, certainly management consultants, designers (can’t get the qualification otherwise), and don’t even start on the clergy. Its about freedom of sexuality. As opposed to free sex which is different, very rare and worth keeping quiet about.

So why not in football?

Because football is an anachronism. Its in a time warp. One in which racism still exists and needs constant monitoring and vigilance; where sexism is rife and where sexuality is viewed through the eyes of, basically, an unevolved caveman whose had 7 pints of Stella. A world where fighting is acceptable behavior, where abuse and swearing are the lingua franca, both on the pitch and off.

Though really I think the issue here may also be more a pragmatic one. As it is with that other bastion of knuckle-dragginess, the army. And its all about close proximity, extreme physical contact and showering together. Management consultants seldom get to partake of this activity but footballers, and rugby players too, often do. And that’s the bit where it gets a bit ‘eeuuuw’. Even for an ultra-post-modern, neo-metrosexual uber-mensch like me, who should know better.

Football needs to come into the 19th century (we’ll work out the rest slowly, slowly) and get over itself. Macho is so 1973.

Happy friday

A xxxx