They found 14,000 people worldwide and asked them who they most admired.

I didn’t even come in the top 96. Bastards.

Bill Gates came top. Obama was 3rd or 4th, the highest Brit was Stephen Hawking in 16th, his wheelchair came 17th.

Amoung Britains, the Queen was first, again there was no mention of me, but Cameron was very very low, after Ronnie Biggs, Emanuel Adebayor, Del-Boy and Angela Merkel. Ed Milliband didn’t make the list at all. Apparently his own wife voted for David Milliband.

Very few women were on the list. Which is odd. But depends who’s voting and how you define ‘admiration’.

Amoung Russians Putin came out on top. Surprise. Amoung North Koreans 98% voted Kim Jung Un as number 1.
2% were exectued at dawn.

My top ten:

1. Me (cos I’m worth it)
2. Me Dad (cos he’s amazing)
3. Larry my Tai Chi instructor (only cos if I don’t put him in he knows 977 ways to hurt me very very badly)
4. Jennifer Lawrence
5. Gylfi Sigurdsson
6. Kim Jong Un (funniest man alive)
7. Jennifer Lawrence (I know, but why not?)
8. Batman
9. Nick Clegg (2nd funniest man alive)
10. Francoise Holllande

Yes, the French president just sneaks in as a (very) late entry. My list yesterday morning wouldn’t have included the sorry socialiste under any circimstances, the man who’s done more for France than any man since Hitler invaded in nineteen forty-something. A president so useless, so clueless, so inept and disastrous that they’re considering bringing the guillotine out of mothballs.

But yeterday they published photos of him going round to his lover. On a motor scooter. Sadly (and for a rather sad man to start with, that represents new levels of sadness) he was on the back of the scooter, riding pillion. Tart.

Yet this is not his ‘lover’ in a Valerie Trieweiller kind of way; she’s more his ‘main bitch’, with whom he lives. Well, with whom he lived, until yesterday at least. This is a new ‘other woman’. The position held by Mdme Trieweiller when Hollande was married to Segolene Royale. You keeping up with this???

New bird is Julie Gayet who is French. And married to an Argentinian. Who is probably, in turn, shagging someone else’s wife, to keep up moral standards in the Gallic nation.

French presidents have a serious history of mistresses and lovers. Its possibly worth taking the job for that alone. At least they do it properly. No nation does adultery better. When John Major decided upon his constitutional right of a ‘friend with benefits’ he chose Edwina Curry. The man was fucking clueless in every respect.

So respect for Hollande. At least he’s got hisself a nice babe.

Happy saturday

A xxxx