Spurs new stadium? It’s shite, that is, fucking shite. All that corporate glitz and hi-tech wizardry and fucking Oyster card entry and beer that fills up from the bottom of the glass!!!! I mean, what’s that all abaart?? Ok so they can fill 10,000 glasses in 3 minutes, but what’s everyone else gonna drink? And a 65 metre long bar? The longest in Ingerlund?? Who needs that? I like queuing in ridiculously long lines for 46 minutes to get a pint of sub-standard warm piss. Otherwise I have to watch more football. And there’s not tunnels anymore. Tunnels to buy germ-infested food at half time, tunnels to enter the ground, all nicely decorated to make you feel you’re entering a high security prison. Institutional paint (chipped and stained), lots of chain-link fencing, herded up grotty old stairwells by sheepdogs (stewards). We need that. It gets us ‘into character’. We like a bitta rough.

But now? NOW?? It’s all bollocks. And expensive bollocks at that. A billion quid. Just so a bunch of Footsie company executives can take a pee in some poncy loo that even has toilet paper. Who needs that??? I liked the old toilets. Two toilets for 20,000 people is plenty. Walk-in, walk-out, piss on the way through to get back in the beer lines. Don’t even need to aim. Can’t do that in a 5-star stadium. Well you can but they’d throw you out. It’s an infringement of my civil liberties and human rights.

Spurs stadium is officially ‘the best in the world’. The Maracana might be more glamorous, the Nou Camp bigger, but White Hart Lane Nouveau is undoubtedly ‘the best’. And will be until someone else builds a new one. Because you learn from others and improve. It’s an evolution. The Emirates seemed great, at the time, but they found they’d fucked up the wall shape and created a place devoid of atmosphere. Then they made an even bigger mistake and filled it with a bunch of Arsenal fans.

The new stadium is simply magnificent. The biggest bar in the land, the biggest Spurs shop in the entire history of Spurs shops and the entire stadium is ‘cash free’. Which is a bit ironic considering its full of one-time East End wide boys but you can’t have everything. Just a bank card.

What’s more it is architecturally a thing of exquisite beauty. And will benefit what is basically the last inner London area that’s still a total dump. Regeneration is due and its now begun.

All we gotta do is win there.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx