Its just about da maffs. Simple. Goes like this.

Your family fucking hates you, despises your wife, has no interest in your children, was glad to see the back of you and has washed its hands of any future involvement.

So the question.

Do you take 170 million quid or not?

Whether you do or you don’t take the money, all the above still applies. Ok, not quite as badly, but pretty much the same. But you’ll be poorer. And still hated, if you don’t take it. Or you can grab all you can get just for putting into words what you’ve been alluding to and hinting at all along?

Its a no-brainer. Take the cash. Bentleys and butlers don’t come cheap and its what you’ve always had and still feel entitled to. You can always get a new family, can’t you? Maybe Meghan’s? Oh, forgot, she hates her dad, as well as Harry’s. There’s always mum. Better than Camilla. ANYTHING is better than Camilla. Or you can buy a family. On e-bay. Probably about 250k. Adopt them from Ukraine maybe.

Harry apparently netted about 90 million for the book and 80 mil for interviews and the Netflix series. And people actually think that’s bad! Its basic good business sense. The small step from ‘black sheep of the family’ to ‘international pariah and hate figure’ comes with a purse worthy of the biggest fight Vegas has ever staged.

I don’t blame H & M at all. They’re looking after number 1. He’s still the coolest ex-Royal ever and she’s the best looking princess since Margot Robbie played Elizabeth 1st in Mary, Queen of Scots (only the bits before they covered her face in boils and shit). So why is everyone making such a fuss? Because he admits to taking drugs? I’m aware that drugs are only ever ‘tried’ by other people’s children, NOT MINE, but when 92% of all under 18s have sampled every class A, B and C product available, it sort of becomes like porn, which only ‘other people watch’. Furthermore, in the ‘alternative section’ (T2) of today’s Times, they’re advocating the use of very ‘trippy’ substances to cure all manner of mental health conditions. And that’s THE TIMES!!! So it must be true.

Basically, leave them alone! They’re only trying to get their family loving each other. Just… in a bit of a funny way.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx