And the sins of the fathers shall be suffered unto their… brothers?

Supposed to be sons, I know, but royalty does it different. So Harry gets in right royal storm over personally destroying the world’s atmosphere by jumping on a private jet and his brother gets the strongest punishment possible. William and family took a Flybe, cheapo, no-frills, no-crowns, scum-of-the-earth, bottom-feeding type flight to Edinburgh. All of ‘em. Wills, Kate and the kids. Flying like… like… like normal people!! Ok, they were met on the tarmac by a fleet of Range Rovers, obvs, but no passport control (I know, Edinburgh, but s’not the point), no keeping the kids from jumping on the baggage carousel because the luggage accidentally went to Glasgow and is being shipped over by horse-drawn carriage, ‘please wait patiently’.

But I want to know who paid for the flights. Elton John paid for Harry’s, we all know that, and the ‘carbon footprint’ fee bollocks, which is the non-Catholic version of ‘saying three Hail Marys and your sins will be absolved’. But who paid for Wills’ lot? £73 a ticket, bloody adds up for a family of 5 (possible discount for Little Louis cos he sits on the security guard’s lap). And you have to pay for extra leg room, a seat with a cushion, sandwiches and water, ‘Royal boarding’, and Range Rovers. Which, in full ‘bomb-proof’ mode, weigh about 5 tons and spew out about 3 miles-per-gallon’s worth of carbon on the way to the next Palace.

But a statement had to be made. So they probably told William; sorry mate, yer brother made a bit of a faux pas so you need to over-compensate by taking the family on a… on a… on a… cheapo airline!!! And suffer the humiliation, the ‘herding’, the lack of information, lack of niceness and lack of pretty much everything you haven’t paid for. Just like some people have to do pretty much every time they board a plane.

Jofra Archer is a god. The fastest fast bowler ever to play for England. He’s so good he bowls like a West Indian. Which is fair really because he’s from Barbados. So in the first Ashes test we got royally beaten up by Steve Smith, the Aussie’s talismanic run scorer. So in the second test Jofra knew what was required and he took Smith out with a bouncer to the neck. So now, for the third test, the Aussies have to play without their star and, to be honest, they are just not up to the task. So Archer took 6 wickets for 45 runs yesterday at Headingly. He’s 24 years old, totally brilliant, and ENGLISH as Prince Harry. Someone to be proud of.

Happy Friday

A xxxx