The rule of six came into force on Monday. I’m relieved. No idea why, it’ll make no difference to anyone. Unless… unless… unless you spy on your mates!!! And report them!!! To the ‘hotline’!!! The ‘scummy, scabby, snitchy grass-line’ as it will be known and as recommended by policing minister, Kit Malthouse. Who, when he was at school, used to ‘tell tales’ and shop all his mates and blame everyone else, and name names!!!

What a tragic state of affairs. We can’t test properly, even though most third world, impoverished countries (like Italy) have no problem. We can’t track and trace. And we can’t prevent the rate from going up. But we can tell everyone to spy on their neighbours and report them to the authorities. Like the Cultural Revolution in China. Like the Stasi did in East Germany. A society becoming devoid of trust.

There’s a whole host of people who are and have always been opposed to any form of ‘lockdown’ on civil liberty grounds. I’m not sure I agree with them totally, but have to admit they have a point. And grassing up yer mates and snitching on your neighbours is no way to endear yourselves to those people.

But there’s more important news around than increasing Coronavirus rates, this week. Gareth Bale wants to return to Tottenham! He actually wants to. According to his agent, Jonathan Barnet, who really doesn’t care where Gareth plays as long as he gets his percentage of the Welshman’s 25 million pound a year salary. You don’t even need that big a percentage either. And if Gareth wants to come ‘home’, we certainly would just love to have him. So that’s perfect then. Gareth might actually get to play in a few football matches as well, an added bonus for him, and much more than he’s done in Madrid for the last few years. So that’s settled then. Oh, the money? Well, I’m sure Gareth would find it a privilege to take a pay cut of around 75% to play for a club where he is loved, rather than reviled. 400 grand a week to be loved by me. Less than I charge Mel.

COME BACK GARETH!!!!

Happy overly hopeful days

A xxxx