What a night. What a day. What heat. What’a what’a.

Some places do ‘heat’ really well. Holiday places. Nice places. Maybe a sea breeze, maybe some mountain air, but it can be hot and it can be nice. London’s different. We don’t do heat well. So just as well we don’t get that much of it or it could become a problem. Though as global warming sets in and the ice caps melt and the seas swell and the Priuses rule the roads and Al Gore found a new career, who knows what might happen? Maybe London will become so hot that we should all get in the AirCon business immediately ahead of the rush.

Yesterday London reached 31 celcii. That’s about 85 to any primitive races out there who don’t know a celcius from a kilowatt hour. On the Conway scale of temperature measurement, that’s ‘fucking hot!’, just one down from ‘JESUS!!!!’. And as London is pretty well made of concrete, just like we like it, that all heats up nicely too, so we all put on the AirCon, which we have at work, and pump all the humidity out onto the streets. Which is nice of us. So if ‘the temperarture’ is ’31’, the streets of London are bout 40, with 325% humidity. And that’s humid. You step outside and you sweat. Profusely. Even ‘ladies’ who according to legend don’t sweat, do so like the proverbial pig.

At 9.30 last night as I drove round the North Circular (how lucky am I?) the car told me it was still 26 degrees. And it felt like it. When I returned home I showered and stood, still wet, in front of the fan and it was wonderful. For about 3 minutes. Then I was dry and sweating once more. Then went to bed. And that’s where the real trouble started.

Its not in fact a mere ‘fan’. Not for me. We have a Dyson Air Amplifier. Pretentious? Non. Its heaps better than a fan because… because… because Mr Dyson, sorry, Sir Dyson told me so on the telly. So it must be. It certainly looks nicer. Though after 15 minutes of sweating into my pillow I started playing with my… Air Amplifier, moving it, raising it, angling it, lowering it, anything just to try and enjoy some air. Even some non-amplified air would have been wonderful, but nothing. Or not enough to avoid the stiflage that I was feeling.

At 2 o’clock I gave up, came down, drank tea… TEA? in that heat??? Yes, I’m British, its what we do, I read for a couple hours, hoping that sleep would take me and lead to where I wanted to be. But it wasn’t so. I’d just moved my place of sweating to somewhere else in the house. Which was nice, don’t get the impression that I was unhappy or upset or frustrated about being up HALF THE FUCKING NIGHT.

By 5 o’clock I dozed off. The alarm went at 7.25 for Tai Chi, but my chi was simply unwilling. So I had some Tai (ha, ha, haaa) and went back to sleep.

Lovin the heat, just lovin it.

Cool Saturday

A xxxx