They’re introducing 20mph speed limits on numerous roads in London. What would Clarkson say about that? If he wasn’t in jail (metaphorically) and persona non-grata, he’d be yelling about the freedom to drive dangerously, about the inalienable right of every man to drive as fast as his Ferrari can possibly go, how the namby-pamby tossers at Westminster should leave the fucking motorists alone. If we all drive at 20 all the time we might as well all be Prius drivers now that gay marriage is legal. But he can’t say all that. So I have to say it on his behalf.

Though its the reasons for this imposition that I’m concerned about. Its ‘to save cycling deaths’. Because we have many. Too many. Well, (as a cyclist myself), one is too many. And we don’t have one, we have hundreds in London and its awful. So those in charge, as opposed to those who actually know, have decided that if you slow traffic down that will reduce cycling deaths. Like fitting dentures to prevent Ebola. It looks like ‘something is being done!!’ but obviously not the right thing.

Virtually all cycling accidents occur when trucks and other big vehicles are turning left with a cyclist unseen on the inside. The average speed of a vehicle of that size and weight whilst turning left is about 8mph. Very few cycling accidents are caused in or by fast moving traffic. I’m sure there are some.

All that is achieved by slowing down the traffic, even more than it slows itself down almost all of every day on every road, is increased driver frustration, anger and subsequent irrational behaviour. So for every one minor cycling accident you may prevent, you’ll create 10,000 unexploded bombs in the form of erratic, angry road-ragers.

What they should do is build cycle paths. Like they have even in third world countries like France. Somewhere for cyclists that motorists can’t reach.

Alternatively, my own fear whilst cycling, my source of terror as I pedal to the station in the mornings is women driving massive four-by-fours to take little Jessica, alone in the vastness of the back seat, to school. These women are dangerous, clueless and aggressive. And if that sounds in any way sexist, IT FUCKING SHOULD.

Happy Birthday to Mel

A xxxx