Listen: we coped with losing the football on Saturday night; we can cope with a little snow, FFS!! We are England!!!

However, once I’ve put down my 6 foot cross of St George flag, covered up my ‘BNP’ tattoos and changed out of my steel-capped Doc Martens, I realised that there may in fact be a few minor issues. Weather-wise. In London. Though its not our fault, we just don’t, kind’a ‘do’ weather. We’re fine when there is no weather, then its all just great. Even a bit of frost and fog won’t keep the heroes off the tennis court. But when the weather comes, that, kind’a ‘foreign’ type weather, we don’t do so good. We struggle. Too hot, too cold, too wet, too dry, too snowy, too… not enough snowy. Then it all turns into a perfect shit-storm. Like it did this morning.

The kind of morning that is truly ‘picture postcard’. The kind that is absolutely beautiful to behold. Full of majesty and brilliance. When viewed through the bedroom window. It’s when you go out that the trouble starts. Unless you’re Lila and Joey, then its when the fun starts.

I swept off the 6 inches of snow from Mel’s car so she could go swimming. Then swept the path and driveway because… its actually fun. And you can only do it when its powdery. Give it an hour and its rock hard and requires dynamite. Then I checked the trains.

Transport for London’s website just said: YOU’RE JOKING, RIGHT? on the home page. So I clicked on the underground section and it stated ‘JUST FUCK OFF’. Well, not in those precise words, but so much of everything was ‘suspended’ it appeared to be a day only fit for going on strike. Maybe working from home. Best of all would be striking from home but I’m not sure that’s legal. Lila’s school was shut for the day because… well… you wouldn’t want… its not safe to… oh bollocks, just close, that won’t be very inconvenient, will it?

And so I set off. And eventually, circumventing the closed stations, getting buses, trudging along like a polar explorer, I arrived in the City. As usual, snowless and clear and business as usual, but without any people (see above). If/when I get home tonight, I’ll be back in Greenland. So its whale blubber for dinner. Again!

Happy snow day

A xxxx