What’s more scary than horror!!! Than ghouls and ghosties and zombies and skeletons (even if painted on)??? When I suggested to Lila and Joey that they both dress up as Rachel Reeves, red case in hand, they agreed that the point would be well made in light of budgetary revelations. Ok, they said “who???” I wish I’d never heard of her either. But you can never un-see something. It’s like the old joke: what’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb. Ha-ha.

Growing up in the 60s Halowe’en didn’t exist. Not in my part of East London anyway. We kind’a heard about it but it was ‘an American thing’. Though the idea of getting free sweets was indeed greatly appealing. As was the idea of putting in a few windows, keying the odd car or pulling out the odd rose-bush as the ‘trick’ alternative.

Fast forward one generation and Natalie and Rachie always went trick-or-treating. Loads of kids did. It was sweet. And sweets.

Move on to the here and now and it’s a fucking epidemic. Every kid under the age of 27 now dresses up, forms a gang with others on the street and with parental involvement/guardianship, they march along threatening quivering adults to cough up something sweet and dentally corrupting or face the wrath of… of a 4 year-old girl dressed as Morticia Adams!! Where I live it actually causes traffic jams as groups of kids spill onto the road and parents insist on following them round in a Tesla. Which I think speaks volume about the average Tesla driver.

In principle I love Haloween. It makes Lila and Joey very happy, it fills the world with sweets and, best of all, it is really anti-religion, dark, sinister and pagan. Just as we should be teaching our children. Who needs a geezer wearing a cross when you can have the undead? Its the one day when you can re-live Hammer House of Horror. Because although we ‘cartoonify’ all this ‘horror’, to ‘protect the kids’, the kids actually love to hear about horror of that nature. Ok, it might give them nightmares and scar them psychologically for their entire adult lives, but love it they do. Rising from the grave, buried alive, armies of skeletons, let ’em have it. Their parents will sort out the problems.

No problems for Spurs on Wednesday as we ‘brushed aside’ Manchester City in style. Bit of luck, but style mainly. And relief. Ok,it was the League Cup, but still…

I love football again.

Happy post-Halowe’en.

A xxxx