Leonard Bernstein’s moving song states that ‘there’s a place for us’… ‘Somewhere’. The message being that sometimes you need to find a place which will accept you for what or who you are, but you may have to look far and wide to find it. Whether you’re a Puerto Rican in love with an Irish Italian, whether you’re a gay person in Qatar or whether you’re a hapless ex-government minister famous for fondling a co-workers ass on a cctv camera feed.

So no-one should complain, moan or even be surprised by Matt Hancock’s brave and noble decision to join the tv program, ‘I’m a celebrity… get me out of here!’ In fact its almost fitting that nation’s most cretinous MP has found his ‘somewhere’ on the world’s most abysmal tv show. Harmony. Synchronicity. Karma. Matt should really win the thing because its all about humiliating yourself and he has such a head start on everyone else, in that department, that his lead is almost unassailable even before nauseating duo Ant and Dec have welcomed everyone aboard.

I’m not normally a big fan of that show. Ok, I’ve never watched any of it, but that’s definitely MY loss. I appreciate that my own prejudice against ‘watching total bollocks’ has deprived me of something that gives a lot of pleasure to other people. Mainly really stupid people but I don’t judge on these things.

Matt has been removed from the Conservative Party for doing this. A big loss. Because… errr… yeah, he’ll be really missed… errr… somewhere, I’m sure. Parliament is in recess during the filming so all he’ll be missing is his constituency meetings as half the people in West Suffolk will be starving or freezing to death in abject poverty whilst he’s trying not to vomit while eating insect larvae and everyone’s laaaarrrrfin’ and laaaaarrrrfin’ and laaaarrrfin’.

But sometimes in life you have to take a move for the sake of your career. For yourself. You have to make the ‘tough choices’. Matt feels that his career will be enhanced by being force-fed kangaroo penises. And looking at his parliamentary career thus far, you’d have to agree.

It is definitely the right thing for Matt Hancock to be doing. So let’s be with him, let’s celebrate his bravery and commitment, this is not about money… oh, actually it probably is a LOT about money, but let’s enjoy the fact that whilst he’s ‘over there’ doing the bidding of the most evil twins (aren’t Ant & Dec twins?) since The Shining, he won’t be over here.

Good luck Matt!

A xxxx