OMG! What a day in Westminster. The biggest, most exciting, most productive, most decisive day since…

Because Theresa May won over the entire parliament and is allowed to continue in ‘the worst job there ever was’ at ‘the worst time you could ever do it’. And when I say ‘the entire parliament’, I obviously don’t mean it. Because we’re talking about politicians and politics and therefore every word must be ‘spun’ to distort, embellish or just plain lie about the actual reality.

So in fact only the Conservatives were allowed to vote. Obviously, it was a vote over their confidence in their leader. And of the 317 Tories who did bother to vote, 200 of them voted their confidence in Theresa. Or at least demonstrated their opinion that ‘she’s the best of a bad bunch’, possibly ‘rather her than me’ and some considering how awful it would be viewed from ‘greater Europe’ should the head ‘man’ and negotiator leave at this incredibly late and pivotal time.

Labour weren’t allowed to vote, but they were allowed to shout a lot beforehand. Jeremy Corbyn has been ‘groomed’ into a new persona for his ‘leader of the opposition’ role as its the first time in his entire 45 year career when he’s not allowed to speak whilst wearing a duffle coat and holding a placard. And his new persona, chosen by highly paid image consultants (50 quid for 8 sessions in the Red Lion pub in Esher) is that of ‘angry geography teacher’. So rather than just raising his voice at important parts of his speech, he just shouts the whole thing. “YOU DIDN’T HAND YOUR HOMEWORK IN ON TIME AND SO YOU MUST DO IT AGAIN AND I WANT IT BY FIRST THING TOMORROW MORNING!!!”

The Irish ‘allies’ of Theresa May now hate her, won’t vote for her, have taken our ‘bribe’ of a billion quid and instead of fulfilling their side of the contract, voting for the government, they’re going to spend it closing hospitals where abortions are carried out. It’s what they do. Fuckwits.

The Scots despise May and now want to team up with Labour to force a new vote of no-confidence, this time in the government, which is much more serious. The problem is that Jeremy Corbyn ONLY wants this path to end in a general election so that he might grasp his chance to turn the UK into Moscow in 1925 (ie starvation and bankrupt), whereas Nicola Sturgeon wants it to lead to another Europe referendum. At least she’s ‘on message’ with the fact that this is ALL ABOUT EUROPE. Whereas Corbyn, as we know, couldn’t give a shit about Brexit or Remain as long as he can avoid singing any national anthems.

The Liberals don’t count. In any way. Similarly Sinn Fein, the Green(s) (there’s only one and if trees aren’t being cut down she stays quiet anyway) and Plaid Cymru who only debate in Welsh.

So there you are. Theresa May stays. In part because she had to promise that she’ll be gone by the next election. Ok, she stays ONLY because she’s promised to leave by the next election. But you know what? I have a growing respect and admiration for her. She’s doing a job. And she’ll stick with it. Even at the eventual cost of her career. That’s noble.

In retrospect we should have had a rampant Brexiteer doing the negotiation for us because they could have threatened Europe more effectively. It’s hard to make threats when in your heart you don’t want to carry them out. But if Rees-Mogg, tosser that he is, said he’d leave with no deal, Europe would have softened. Something they never needed with Theresa. But there ya go.

Glad its sorted. (???????)

Happy Thursday

A xxxx