So we drove up to Yorkshire. It’s a long way. But it’s fine, because they let you drive fairly fast on the motorway. Ok, they keep slowing you down, but I don’t think they really mean it. All those ‘50’ signs are just to test their wiring.

But then you get to Yorkshire. And for some reason, for such a massive county, they really don’t want anyone getting anywhere in any kind of hurry. And you know you’re ’up north’ because people actually adhere to the limits. Unbelievable. And quite agonising.

But it doesn’t matter! Because we’re here!!! On the Yorkshire Moors! And they’re beautiful. Yesterday evening we walked to a lovely pub for dinner and saw the Moors. But night was approaching and I kept hearing that line from my favourite film “don’t go onto’t Moors after dark!” An American Werewolf in London. When I fell in love with Jenny Agutter and Van Morrison’s Moondance simultaneously.

But this morning we were safe. So up we went. We’d ascended about 50 feet onto our first Moor when Mel was attacked. They tell you about the werewolves but not about the shitting birds high up in the trees. As about half a pint of what looked like liquidised cherry descended upon her lovely pink shirt. Ex-shirt. It’ll never be worn again. But undeterred (unde-turd?) we fearlessly walked on. For about an hour. Then decided, yeah; ya seen one moor, ya seen ‘em all, and came back into ‘town’.

The town of Ilkley. Which is tiny, posh and very sweet. From the toy town Town Hall to the insy wincey train station, lovely shops, Sunday market and jazz band playing on the green, it’s all rather chocolate boxey and nice. Loads of people about all smiling at you and wishing you g’mornin’ in their strange accents. Mel (raised just up the road in Leeds) translated for me.

So now we’re off to the wedding. Here’s how you get there. You start in Ilklley, which is in the middle of nowhere (not counting the Moors) and then you drive 15 minutes away from any kind of civilisation to… ‘the edges of nowhere’?, absolute nowhere? Who knows. I’ll let you know.

Happy Sunday

A xxxx