I put this picture up because I don’t want you to think that Joey spends all his time bent double on the floor with his neck at a funny angle. Even though he does. Well, what d’ya want; he’s 5 months old; what else is he gonna do? He rolls around as he’s too young for crawling, and rolls around, until he hits a wall (literally, not like in the Man vs Food way), then he calls out for help so he can start rolling the other way. But then he sat up! Holy shit. Yeah, I know you can sit up, you’re 30/51/64 FFS, of course you can do it. For Joey its a big achievement. For you its just another function that you should enjoy for the short time til you cross that off your list of the ‘physically able to still do’.

But what’s that got to do with the election? Joey’s not standing this time. Though will definitely be Prime Minister one day, you can see it. Just after his sister runs for 2 terms, Joey will take the mantle. And it will be a wonderful Britain (well, England, not sure Britain will exist still by then after the Scots and now the Welsh want to leave the Union) that will be. It will be a pink and purple Britain under PM Lila, filled with Pepper Pigs and Unitorns (I hope she can pronounce ‘c’ by then) and dinosaurs and everyone will get free ice cream and babychinos, and croissants will be available on the national health service. And everyone will be happy and skip a lot. Ahhhhhh…

It will be different under Jeremy Corbyn. Ok, it will probably be different under Boris too. Or even possibly (though remote) under Jo Swinson. Nigel Farage??? Well the horrible obnoxiously smug little chain-smoking shit is fielding 600 candidates even though none will win a seat. Yet not standing himself. Making him the prime tosser in a rich field with plenty of stiff competition.

It’s day 3 and Labour are already spending 60 billion quid a year on the promised ‘give-aways’ that all prospective political parties feel they have to use to bribe the electorate. The Tories aren’t doing bad on the giveaway front either.

The problem is that the Cons have moved noticeably to the right whereas the Labs have gone so far left as to be re-approaching the right from the other side. The kind of Marxism that becomes Stalinism which is so close to Naziism that you can’t see the difference. Control the services, control the workers, control the papers (with ‘elected editors’) and take control of part of all private companies too. But instead of fierce, imposing, powerful Stalin you get limp, lefty, protest-marching, Arsenal-supporting Corbyn wearing the moustache.

Once you start re-nationalising things the bill will go up. But like stratospherically ‘up’.

So much as I like Boris but don’t like these neo-Cons, there is no choice. Other than the Lib Dems. But really… I mean, really! Though having a televised leader debate without Jo Swinson does seem a bit… harsh? a bit exclusive? a bit sexist??

Everything to play for. Off to Israel tomorrow. Not for good. Not yet anyway. Just for a wedding.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx