Went to the theatre last night. We rarely go. Too much rubbish on, for which you have to pay rather large amounts of money. I’d rather go to Spurs for the money. So would… errrr… Mel…

So we’ll only see stuff that’s been really well reviewed, recommended by the Queen herself and are guaranteed to be worth all the fuss and expense. Like Yerma that we saw last month. Totally brilliant experience. As per everyone who saw it.

So everyone who has seen Deep Blue Sea has also raved. About the play (not a new one; if you want a NEW play, costs you more, that’s why Shakespeare’s so cheap?), and particularly raved about Helen McCrory, the undoubted star of the play. Where could you go wrong with all that?

The play starts with Mcrory on the floor (supposedly; cos she’s acting) unconscious in front of a gas fire. And its set when gas fires used real gas, poisonous, toxic, lethal fucking suicide-friendly gas. Not like the rubbish we get now. So we can assume that she’s attempted to top herself. And yes, she does ‘unconscious’ totally brilliantly. As only a true thesp-luvvie can do.

About 7 hours later she’s eating a fried egg, crying and the curtain comes down.

Wow; brilliant!!!!

The bit in the middle I’m not so sure about. Ok, I am sure. It was dull. Fantastically acted, undoubtedly, but dull nonetheless. It kind’a went round and round in circles with a bunch of stereotyped post-war caricatures, spoke of unrequited love quite a bit, then I dozed off for a while, but didn’t appear to miss much cos they were still loving unrequitedly when I woke up.

Save your money. Helen McCrory is brilliant but its just not enough.

Bit like Bournemouth. Not enough to even compete with Manchester City Nouveau, who look scarily awesome. Bit like they did a the start of last season but under Pep you kind’a think (or kind’a fear) that this is the real thing.

The Arse had a lucky win at Hull. Ok, 4-1 doesn’t sound lucky but trust me, it was.

Chelsea had already lost at home to Liverpool on Friday night, which would be funny but I’m not happy with Liverpool looking really really good at the moment.

Whereas the nightmare continues for West Ham. Another big loss to another not-too-brilliant football team. Can you imagine if the Hammers move to their new stadium and get rele-

No, surely, not worth considering. Too sad. Too tragic. Too… impossible?

Happy Sunday, Come on You Spurs

A xxxx