Today begins the official, state visit of the President of the United States of America! He’ll arrive, be greeted on the tarmac by Prince Charles and the EasyJet ground staff who’ll then go and lose Melania’s bag whilst explaining to Donald that although his flight was delayed by 4 hours and 57 minutes due to total incompetence of the staff, crew, drunk pilot and landing team, he is NOT entitled to the statutory compensation of 300 Euros because all of that is some kind of act of God. If you’re religious enough, everything comes back to God in the end.

Can you imagine Melania travelling with ‘a bag’? She probably travels with ‘a plane’. Another one. Just for clothes. And a third for make-up and ‘fillers’. She likes a filler. Whereas Donald could do with a bit of un-filling really.

I have great respect for the President of the United States, I honestly do. The position, the role, if not so much for the present incumbent. So whichever ignorant tosser those stupid Americans pick to lead them will gain my respect, to some or other degree of grudgingness, for his- or HER- term. Because whatever we think of Trump (see above) America has earned and deserves our ongoing respect and friendship. Because they keep us safe. We are a tiny island nation with delusions of grandeur. Delusions of power. And that power, in a military sense, if it exists at all, is mainly due to the fact that if you pick on us America is gonna fucking kill you. Britain is like a Woody Allen type character strutting round the favela, because over his shoulder is the world’s biggest bully armed to the teeth.

So if people want to protest then fine, I’m all for free speech and freedom of expression and the Donald, more than anyone, deserves derision and attack for many things.

Yet it all comes down to one thing really. Which is that our ‘new Left’ hate America, hate capitalism, hate its somewhat heavy handed efforts at maintaining world peace. And therefore adherents to that mindset will take every opportunity to find any reason to knock the USA. Like little shit Sadiq Kahn. Like Corbyn, like McDonnell whose stated aim is ‘to bring down capitalism’. Because other options work so well. Fuck. Me.

And much as I think Trump a horrible and unpredictable man, its those very things that make the world so wary of him. Would Kim Jong-Un be so nervy of a calm and cool statesman of a president as he is of a fucking nut-job with a funny hair-style? In the international world of bluff and bravado there is no-one going to call Donald’s bluff. You don’t ‘dare’ a lunatic.

So bring him on/in. Let him have dinner with the Queen, let him grope Kate, stick him a carriage driven by (pretty strong) horses and if you wish, stand along the Mall with a placard. But love him or hate him, we need him.

Happy Monday

A xxxx