Just before I start on the tennis (OMG, the tennis!!!!), we need to talk cricket. Specifically: The Ashes, third test at Headingly. And the foe was bested. Ok, it wasn’t ‘comfortable’. When Ben Stokes left the pitch English heads dropped. Mine included. Which wasn’t great because I was driving when it happened. Perhaps cars sold in England need to offer a ‘heads down display’ for just such moments. Of which there are many. Spurs fans would never look up. But we fucking won. And that’s brilliant.

So I watched the tennis which I STILL can’t play because of my hip issues. And it was, quite frankly, brilliant. Not the hip, obvs, but Wimbledon. And my pick of the day was… not the Djokovic match because it didn’t finish, and was, quite frankly, a bit boring with him playing some giant with a massive serve, up to 141 mph, ffs, and in the first set getting over 90% first serves in. Djokovic on the other side is no slouch at serving either so the first set went to an inevitable tie-break, but in about 20 minutes because there were no rallies. And much as I love Novak like I love Kier Starmer and Vladimir Putin, he was simply bloody brilliant and beat the glumph to first blood. Because we may not like the man, but he is simply brilliant.

My match of the day was between Victoria Azarenka and Elina Svitolina; battle of the unpronounceables. It was a simply brilliant game, start to finish, hard-fought and swinging both ways, sometimes at the same time. Then Elina won the final set deep into a long tie-break.

And that’s when the trouble started.

Because Elina is Ukranian and Victoria is from Belarus, which remains Russia’s strongest (and only) ally in the current… special… whatever; the shitstorm. Elina had stated that she would NOT be shaking hands with any Russians or Belarussians. So Victoria, who had just entertained the centre court crowd for 3 hours with her amazing contribution to an incredible game, politely raised her hand to her opponent as she walked off, to spare her any embarrassment at the net. And then She left the arena for Elina to receive rapturous applause. And the crowd booed Victoria off. And I thought, even with my ‘Ukraine f’rever!!!’ hat on, I thought: what a bunch’a fuckers. Azarenko is NOT Aleksandr Lukashenko. She’s probably lived in America since the Florida abduction centre for tennis prodigies from East Europe grabbed her. I get Elina’s point. But fans should appreciate the fucking tennis, its not a comment on a political system, nor proof of a love of Putin.

Appalled of Norf Lundun

xxxx