So here’s what they said: if you’re over 60, there is No Benefit in walking more than 6000 steps on your daily/weekly/monthly walk. 5000 is not quite enough, but 10,000 is worthless. Ok, maybe they didn’t use the word ‘worthless’, but reading between the lines, as I spend most of my time doing, that’s what they meant. And how do they arrive at this? Because in a test, albeit a massive test, 50,000 people, were followed over years. So presumably, that then becomes 100,000 people, if you count the ‘followers’? And they found that once you’re over 60, there is no difference in likelihood of dying, whether you do 6000 or 12000 steps. Whereas there was a big difference between 3,000 and 6,000. The 3,000-ers were dropping like flies and the 6000-pounders were climbing over their corpses as they strutted the extra yardage. But only up to 6000. Then they stopped and called an Uber to take them home. Anything beyond is a wasted step.

Surely there are other benefits of walking that bit further? Strength, stamina, muscle tone, lots of good things. No idea why they implied that anything beyond their ‘optimum’ is just a waste of good living time. I realise that ‘not dying’ is quite high on most people’s ‘goal for the day’ but just because something’s not making you live longer doesn’t mean its bad for you. The study was done in America so was probably dependant on how far it was to the nearest Burger King.

And football was all rather disappointing this weekend. Spurs lost to Ronaldo, Arsenal won, bloody Leeds won! And Watford!! But most disappointing of all was that Putin’s team won as well. Chelsea managed to win the battle of the morally dubious derby against the Saudi Misogynistic Homophobes of Newcastle. Who are currently occupying the high ground, FFS.

Abramovich has apparently identified wife number 4, a stunning Russian babe, big surprise, 25 years old. Note to the Times: WHO GIVES A SHIT??? We may care about his ownership of Chelsea. We certainly care that he is Putin lackey who refused to condemn the ‘war’. We care that he’s been money-laundering his riches over here for years. But its really not relevant who he wants as his next obsession. In fact that almost dilutes all the truly bad things as it becomes just another bit of petty gossip to ‘throw into the mix’.

His reign at Chelsea may come with a bigger bang than his arrival as the team currently has no accessible funds to pay salaries. Nor will be allowed to earn any in the near future. Insolvency? Loss of points? Relegation?? Humiliation? Just desserts?? It’s good to see something good coming out of this awful war.

Happy Monday

A xxxx