I’m sure there are a few Kiwis here. Don’t mean the animal nor the fruit, just the people wot live here. Allegedly there are almost a million of ‘em in the South Island but trust me, they’re as rare here as sheep were in our first few days. Because (shock alert!) I’m a tourist here. I know, I don’t look like one, because I have a knack of just fitting in perfectly. Like Zelig. But a tourist I am. And thus generally find myself either with people of the hospitality industry or with other tourists. The former tend to be English, Scottish, German, anywhere-but-here-ish. And the latter are obviously not native either. A majority are Japanese but you can tell these quite easily because they look like they’re dressed for nuclear fallout in a sandstorm. Or a visit by Russians for tea. These people should be avoided at all costs. The rest are ‘normal people of a non-English nature’.

And everyone wants to talk about Brexit. Everyone. The Americans and Canadians don’t really get the whole thing, the few Kiwis you do encounter have no idea what the word even means, nor do they care, and the Europeans…

The Europeans generally can’t understand why we’d want to become insular and isolated at a time when the world is becoming more global, more integrated, more… together. So I tell them about reclaiming the borders, (banning non-Europeans), making our own laws, (all of which are European), how we were lied to by all sides, at all times, to this day, because no-one knew the truth and won’t do until we leave and learn it the hard way.

Breakfast today I’m talking to a German. Happens sometimes, unavoidable. And he said he couldn’t understand how we voted to leave when every Brit he meets is a remainer. This man is a director of VW (owes me 20,000 euros for mis-selling me a Diesel engine on the Golf I’ve never owned; I asked for it in cash) and is based in Japan. And all the Brits he meets we’re remainers. Funny that. All the London-based executives and business high flyers and none wanted to leave Europe. So who could have voted to leave????

I make no judgments. On morons or anyone else. Not my place.

Happy Glacier Day

A xxxx