Real men play tennis in the rain. FACT. Ok, maybe ‘in the drizzle’ because if balls get soggy, heavy, nasty, that ain’t no fun and the ground gets slippery so even my super K-Swiss, cross-tread, super-grip, climb-up-a-fucking-wall-like-Spiderman!!!! tennis shoes can’t really cope and that could spell disaster. At my age.

But what about rugby? Holy shit, that’s the most manly of manliest games. They play in ANYTHING. Those boys are superhuman. Bullets bounce off them. Meteorites turn round and go back when they see a flanker in the way. Rain???

But a typhoon is a bit different. In fact Typhoon Hagibis is a bit nasty and 30 people have already been killed during its tenure at the Rugby World Cup. So the England game was cancelled. Against France. Which, in terms of affecting any of the group positions or qualifications, was academic. But obviously way less ‘academic’ for the thousands of fans who managed to get a ticket for ‘last group game!!!!!’ at great expense, took time off work, booked an exorbitant flight, checked into a Love Hotel, had a row with the wife, abandoned the kids and has already blown the monthly nappy budget on beer and chicken yakatori.

Then came the Scotland game. Or not. Depending on typhoons (no-one mentions the earthquakes enjoyed in Tokyo on Thursday, they’re nothing). And this was a different kettle of haggis altogether. Because Scotland needed a win to progress to the quarter finals. And if abandoned, the rule is ‘2 points each’. Enough for the victorious Japs to move onwards in the tournament, but pitifully insufficient for the Scots for whom victory and only victory would prevent them from flying home. In shame.

They spoke of abandoning the game, the Scots said ‘they’d sue!!’ Who, exactly, and on what grounds, I’m not sure. Above my pay-grade. But sue they would. Probably sue God as it was one of his ‘acts’. But amazingly, the game was played. Safely and securely and it even looked quite pleasant out there.

But the Japs hadn’t read the script, which was written in Scottish, so pretty much no-one could understand it. And the Japanese, ever more impressive with each game they battle with every grain of rice in their very souls. They fight like the Samurai, they compete like Ninjas, they scrimmage like Sumo and eat, like, sushi.

I can never forget Andy Murray, the ‘typical Scotsman’, when he said: “whoever is playing against England I will support”. And thus I was thrilled with a win for Japan. Mel was upset, not that she loves rugby but because her father was born in Edinburgh. Enough that she could qualify for playing rugby for Scotland, like Michael Leitch is ‘Japanse’. And I just love the spirit in which the Japs play the game. It is heart-warming and admirable. Until they play England, then I may change my views.

Happy stormy Monday

A xxxx