Its funny how you can read a whole article in a newspaper and then, from a two page spread, just one tiny little, seemingly inconsequential comment leaps out, jags you in the eye, sticks in your teeth and punches you just above your testicles.

Our new Health Secretary is Victoria Atkins. It’s now her job to spend the next 12 months apologising for the NHS and making promises she can’t keep. That’s what the ‘health secretary’ does. But wait! There’s an ‘issue’!!! Her husband!!! The bastard!! He’s the CEO of a massive sugar producing company. SUGARRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!! The food of the devil! The total cause of our nation’s obesity!! Which, of course, is the Health Minister’s job to sort out. How hard can that be? There’s only 57 million fat people out there, slim ‘em down before they start to drain more resource from the NHS. Start with the kids. CUT OUT SUGARRR! Oh, but that might affect my husband’s income (probably well into seven figures) so I’ll just approve Tescos new ‘all you can stuff’ lunch package of one processed meat and strawberry jam sandwich, four packets of high fat/salt/sugar crisps, three Kit-Kats and a Mars bar, PLUS… an almost free litre of full-fat Coke!! Because the more sugar you consume, the richer I am.

I think it safe to say that ‘the world needs sugar, and always will’. Whether we reduce the amount consumed in sweeties and treats and chocolates and puddings is irrelevant, because we need it in everything else too. Just in smaller doses. Which I really don’t think will massively affect the profitability of the world’s largest producer.

So why would the press make implications of almost ‘impropriety’ or ‘conflict of interest’? Why? Because they’re a bunch of tossers fed up with vanilla politics perpetrated by chronically beige politicians who generate about as much interest as the cement drying on my new black brick tower. So they create ‘excitement!’, they manufacture ‘interesting’ in the dullest of dull and they love nothing more than a bit of ‘conflict’ where none exists.

I think, having banned tobacco, Rishi should now ban sugar. Alternatively, when you go for a bag of Haribos, they should quickly weigh you, work out your BMI and only let you buy it if you ‘qualify’.

And I’m only posting this photo today in protest. Because Lila & Joey’s parents’ seemingly never-ending but oh so desirable photos of MY GRANDCHILDREN!!!, seems to have ‘dried up’. Have the kids turned into the vampires they always wished to be and hence no longer cast an image? So this pic is a protest.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx