So when they said: ‘you need a 7-day heart monitor’, I envisaged something the size of a postage stamp, fixed under my belt, a couple of neat little stick-on electrodes wirelessly linked to it by blue-tooth and life would just work around it all, almost oblivious to its presence.

I didn’t expect three fucking great stickers holding 15 metres of cabling all attached to a car battery on a string dangling round my neck. I mean, WTF???

How am I supposed to work, play, LIVE MY LIFE!!! But it mustn’t come off. Other than in the shower. Which I do a lot. Other than that, it will monitor my every heartbeat. Literally. It’s its job, innit? Tennis will be interesting. I feel some sellotape may be useful.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t like Jeremy Corbyn very much. Not because he’s an anti-Semite, nor because he’s an Arsenal fan, not even because he is the worst political leader since… ok, he’s the worst political leader ever. At least Hitler got the roads built.

His only interest is in making political gains for him and his party. The country can go to shit for all he cares. He refuses to join in the collective, cross-party discussions about Brexit. He makes noises that its about ‘THE CATASTROPHE THAT WOULD BE A NO-DEAL BREXIT!!!’ in fact very loud, shouty kind of noises. But he wants assurances. Or he won’t play. Yet if the will of parliament is ‘no deal’ then who the fuck is that tosser to say otherwise?

Meanwhile, his own party condemn him because he won’t join in their demands for a new referendum. The ‘official Labour Party line, other than their leader’, as it could be known. But he won’t commit and he won’t join in. Which he should. Theresa May has essentially asked that for the sake of the nation, the parties jointly decide their priorities and requirements. That itself is impossible given the diversity of Brexit feeling within each party. But it can be attempted. Including the second largest party would be of benefit. To the process and to the nation. But ‘he’ doesn’t give a shit about either.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx