I read a ‘terrible thing’ in the paper the other day, relatively ‘terrible’ anyway. That for David Beckham’s 50th birthday party at some swanky, fine-dining eatery attended by as many A-listers as you could force a rocket leaf upon, and filled with a myriad of tattoos, there was one noted absentee.

No, not me, I couldn’t go because we were playing bridge that night. Brooklyn Beckham, the son and heir, refused to go. There is bad blood. Very bad blood between the Beckham-Spices and number one offspring. Because of… The Wife!!!

Apparently Victoria B does not get along with daughter-in-law, Nicola Pelz, at all. Hates the spoiled rotten, nasty, venomous little princess something awful. And by all accounts the general consensus is that VB is, for once in her life, correct. There’s been a falling out, loyalties tested, doubtless threats made: “if you go to your dad’s party, I’m on my dad’s jet before you can say ‘privileged bitch’ and in one of our 15 homes by tomorrow morning!!!”

I may be wrong. Maybe Nicola is sweet and agreeable and… and… and pigs DO fly.

But it resonated with Prince Harry. I mean there’s a lot of similarities between Harry and Becks. For a start they’re both quite tall. Secondly… errrr… they’re quite tall…

But the ‘Harry Bizniss’ all started with Meghan. Everyone hates Meghan. William hates Meghan, Catherine hates Meghan, Charles and Camilla hate Meghan, even her own dad hates Meghan. Everyone hate Meg, except me. I’ve never got over that photo of her in ‘Suits LA’ (today’s pic, coincidentally) and with just one hip, I’d forgive her anything.

You know I hate to indulge in gossip and tattle and all that Daily Mail shit that is, quite frankly, totally beneath my intellect, but sometimes I rise to the occasion. In the interest of a ‘bigger picture’. Possibly a ‘bigger question’. Something like ‘why are men so fucking stupid as to follow the dictates (pun almost not intended) of an inappropriate woman who their family loathe and despise’. Alternatively, do the family loathe and despise these women first, for other reasons?

We are talking about two of the most important families in the entire country here; the Royals and Posh’n’Becks, but why can’t everybody love each other and be happy? There are drugs which will help. Meanwhile, avoid nasty, conniving, divisive, stroppy, bitchy, entitled, demanding wom– people. (Nearly)

Happy Monday

A xxxx