I can think of only one good reason for Scotland to seperate from the rest of Britain. And that is that if it succeeds it will become an independent country and will have to apply to become accepted by the European Union. Like Albania. And will have to prove its economic viability and its desire to become part of Greater Germany. So whilst in that limbo-state of un-Britishness and un-Europeanality, we could get duty free Scotch. Therefore I vote ‘YES’ to separation and let’s keep their Euro entry process dragging on until I’m totally pissed.

The other interesting facet of this seemingly endless parade of ‘yes’ and ‘no’ banners, Union Jacks and Saltires, and fucking kilts, is the avenues of support voicing their views for an Independent Scotland. Which would become, geographically, North Korea. The bad guys in the north, sharing a border with their enemies to the south (the good guys).

And oddly, North Korea is a firm ‘Yes’ vote. If North Koreans knew what ‘vote’ meant. They support independence because they like whisky. How shallow and sad.

Other words of support have come from China, Russia, Iran, Zimbabwe and even everyone’s favourite, ISIS. Ok, most have the agenda that whatever makes Britain weaker is good for them/the world. And all are places devoid of democracy in any form other than the superficially meaningless. In that ‘vote for me or you’re dead’ kind of way.

And Argentina. They are keen for Scotland to leave British rule because it augers well for the Falkland Islands, even though that little group of worthless isles in the frozen south Atlantic consistently vote to remain British, even the sheep. And as they’re in a majority there, you simply have to listen. But Argentina claims the largest number of people of Scottish descent anywhere outside the English speaking world. Presumably ‘outside the English speaking world’ includes Scotland too? I’ll check on that.

Yet what’s also odd is that Argentina also has the only region in the world outside Wales where they speak Welsh. And, uncommonly for these pages, that’s a true and proper fact. I’m going to Argentina at Christmas so I’ll take an English/Spanish/Welsh phrase book and see how I get on.

Diego Daffyd Bryn Williams-Thomas-Maradonna.

I’m waiting to see Alex Salmond in a Kim Jong-Un wig. Then I’ll vote ‘yes’.

Happy tuesday

A xxxx