I went swimming yesterday morning. Actually, I never swam one single stroke. I went to the swimming pool yesterday morning. With Mel. Which would have been fine, in a way, I’d have done my 7 lengths before boredom had me thinking whether drowning was in fact such a bad way to go, then got out and waited for Mel to complete her 100, as she does every morning. The problem was that we took Lila and Joey with us.

I tried to explain to Joey, as he insisted on being carried into the pool, that social distancing rules preclude such activities, but he was having nothing of it. Reckons he can’t even swim. As if. Won’t wear our Peppa Pig float suit, because its like going into the water in a suit of armour. A waterlogged plastic one. Won’t use arm bands or a float. And who can blame him. They’re for babies. Oh, forgot…

Lila can almost swim. And when I say ‘almost’, I mean… she can’t. At all. Not in any way shape or form, even though I’ve been taking her for her lesson every week this term. If she’s not ploughing her way across the English Channel by January I demand a refund.

But to be honest, its not the pool that’s the problem with little kids; its the changing rooms. Showering with Joey is a pleasure. But sooooo fraught with danger and Mel was little or no help. Though she was in hers with Lila. We neeed 7 other people just to form a ring round Joey to save him from himself.

They banned Jeremy Corbyn from ‘his’ very own Labour Party. Holy shit!!! But he, like, owns it! He was the boss! Banned! Thrown under a bus by his new boss. The bus that has on its destination board: “Kier Starmer, 10 Downing Street”. And for what crime was Corbyn guilty? Well, nothing. The Equalities commission found him and his party guilty of ‘crimes against Jews’ but really it wasn’t that which was the problem. Not for Sir Kier. Corbyn merely enabled, encouraged, participated, engaged and shared platforms with any and every antisemite who thought to publish, shout about, abuse, harass or bully anyone ‘of the faith’. No crime in that. Then he personally was involved in ‘disciplinary decisions’ which should have been totally independent of his office. That’s fine too. Should be encouraged. In any dictatorship. What Starmer found unacceptable was that Corbyn’s first words after hearing the Commission’s damning verdict on His party were to deny anti-semitism was a problem, was to blame the press for over-inflating it, to accuse the right wing of his own party of the same thing. Same as he’s been doing all along. Though what should have elevated his punishment from banishment to death was when he repeated, for the 35,729th time: ‘I am opposed to antisemitism in all forms…’. Because then he becomes just someone who, as for the past 5 years, simply isn’t listening.

Good Friday, well, fairly good

A xxxx