Prince Charles is in Saudi Arabia. As if you couldn’t tell that this picture wasn’t taken in his Tesco Local in Cornwall. He’s gone there to… errr… hmmm…
Well, why does he go anywhere? He goes as an ambassador for Britain. I would imagine, just to keep our oil flowing nicely and smoothly. And whilst he’s there, sucking up to a seriously hateful regime, he joined in the famous ‘sword dance’. Which is NOT (in Suadi Arabia, at least) an euphemism for pornographic or phallic entertainment. No, their swords are real. And sharp. Sharp enough to cut off a pickpocket’s hand. And its a wonderful dance that ends up with all the women lying on the floor and the men walking across them in their hob-nailed sandals, showing their relative positions in society. A society in which women can’t drive, can’t get properly educated, can’t leave the house without a ‘guardian’s’ approval and are not allowed to twerk on a public highway. Gays they just execute. As you would.

Saudi is also a hotbed of radical extremism and has all the democracy you can get from an ‘absolute monarchy’. As opposed to our ‘absolutely pointless’ monarchy, which has no political clout whatsoever.

And Charlie missed the football while he was there. Unless he found a pub with a live stream. Oh, they don’t have pubs in Saudi. Not exactly. They only have coffee shops, shisha bars and torture chambers. None of which screen the football.

But if he had watched the game last night he’d have been thrilled by seeing two giants of the game go head to head. And perhaps a bit saddened that the British reprentative in the contest failed to come up to standard. Though its unlikely the Prince would have called the referee a nob, as Manuel Pelligrini, the Manchester City manager, did last night. Well, I don’t actually speak Chillean but the tone was definitely one of ‘bloody tosser’ type intonation. Because Barcelona had the audacity to play like the best team in the world and actually beat his Manchester City. So he’s scared for his job; we understand that. The Abu Dhabis who own the club (see ‘Saudis’ above; different place, same idea) want to win the Champions League. And don’t we all. But they’ve pumped a billion quid into that sorry club with just that aim and have thus far reaped scarce rewards for their ridiculous investment. So if they fail to win it this year, Pelligrini will go. End of. No arguments. It doesn’t need to be written anywhere. And losing 2-0 at home last night does little to help their cause, their aim, their ambition.

And its all because of a biased referee. Fancy giving a penalty when Leo Messi was hauled down mercilessly by Demichellis? What a nob. Call himself a refereeeeee???? And then he sent the player off!!! As the rules, kind of, errrr, state he should do.

So now Pelligrini will face the wrath of UEFA, as well as that of the Emiratees who pay his wages (and will continue to do so for the next 5 years whether he’s there or not).

I hate managers who blame refs for results. Its bollox. Players lose games, not refs. And can you imagine if we had ‘appeals’ to replay significant events during matches? The games would never end. Every stumble, every slip, every near miss would have the Wengers and Morinhos and Pelligrinis calleing in teams of analysts, experts and lawyers to examine each event in minute detail. Refs are human, they make the odd slip. But nothing like as many horrible managers accuse them of.

Happy wednesday. Arsenal vs Bayern… ahhhhhhhh.

A xxxx