We’re at t-minus-four-days from the World Cup kicking off. Brazil playing Croatia in San Paulo, or ‘the tale of two Eduardos’ as I like to think of it. Both of them treacherous, two-timing, double-dealing bastards. For the ex-Goon was born and raised in Rio, then at 15 moved to Zagreb. And that’s 15 years. If it was 15 days, weeks or months, I could understand his national identity crisis. But at 15 you’re a Brazilian. I was and I was raised in Hackney and Essex. But Brazillianism was in my blood.

Anyway, Eduardo, played for Dinamo Zagreb and declared himself a Croatian. Probably because access to the Croatian national team is somewhat less competitive than to that of the Brazilian one. And Eduardo has promised to sing both national anthems on Thursdsay. Like the 90,000 strong crowd are turning up to listen to the bugger sing and could give a shit anyway. The Brazillians will hate him just the same. I know I do.

The Boateng brothers (famous circus family) are another case in point, or perhaps the same case in two points. These boys were born in Germany to Ghanaian parents. Brother Kevin-Prince (ex-Spurs and many, many, many others) plays for Ghana, whilst brother Jerome has embraced his inner kraut and wears the German colours at international level.

But these are just pesky foreigner types and we must at this point consider who is actually going to win the World Cup. Some geezer (ok, in all likelihood a pesky foreigner type) will hold aloft the Jules Rimet trophy at the Maracana in Rio. Assuming its finished. The stadium that is. Should be ready by then, if not they’ll play on the rubble where the grass will eventually be and put some shirts down as goalposts.

Roy Hodgson reckons England have a great chance of winning. I reckon they have a Lib-Dems chance at the Euros of winning this cup. But I’m always a bit pessemistic about our chances. Mainly because we never, ever, ever, never do very well. Since 1966 anyway. And our two matches this weekend, the friendlies, were both drawn. Which is not great. Because if you draw all your matches, you generally don’t get through the group stage. And if you draw after than they its all about penalties. And if we’ve shown nothing else in the last 48 years, what we do definitely know is that WE ARE SHIT AT PENALTY SHOOT-OUTS.

So England won’t win. And the rule is, if we’re not going to win it then we should get out as early as possible so that all us English poeple can then really start to just enjoy the brilliant football available without worrying whether Lampard, Gerrard or both, are responsible for the lastest fuck-up.

You have to fancy Brazil to win; home advantage, super football, always a total joy to watch. Show-offs the world over can unite behind their stylish play.

If not, Argentina look good, though Messi never does his thing for country as he does for club. Spain? Possibly now too old and insufficient young replacements for their all-conquering team of late. Germany are always a worry, not just in football, but kind of everything. Italy no good, France not good enough. But Belgium. Oooooh, Belgium. Must be a worthy outside bet. Last time’s beaten finalists Holland? Unlikely, they completely lost the plot last time and imploded into an orgy of violence worthy of Tarantino. And how about Ivory Coast? Loads of Toures, a Drogba and a few other old men of note.

Oh well, we shall wait and see,

happy Sunday

A xxxxx