So we’re in Munnar and it’s famous for being in the mountains and thus a bit ‘hilly’ and it’s where they grow the tea. Because here’s something I learned this very day, tea bushes have to grow on an incline of between 30 and 45 degrees. Well, ya live and learn.

But I love tea. Drinkin’ it. Love it dearly. I have my daily coffee, of course, because I’m a Londoner and got conned a decade or two back like everyone else and drink a coffee first thing. But tea is my drink of choice. Ok, Laphroaig and tea. Either of which I’m happy to drink either inclined or on level ground.

And here’s the other thing: I love seeing where tea grows. Tea bushes are wonderfully spectacular, as they blanket the entire visible mountainside with ‘green’. So I took loads of photos of it, but instead decided to post another ‘selfie’ of me and the Mrs in front of a photo of tea-covered mountains, which sits in front of the real, tea covered mountains, at the very end of the path up the nature reserve, the name of which is as irrelevant as it is unpronounceable.

The drive from our resort to the reserve took fucking hours. Because all of India is on Christmas holidays this week and ALL of them, every single one of them, is currently on the road in Kerala. And, finally arriving at the ticket area, there they were, the entire population of India, 1.6 billion of the buggers, all queuing for tickets to take the tour to the top of the nature reserve. Longest queue in the world currently. However… and this is where it gets a bit good, whilst getting a bit bad at the same time. Because next to the worlds’ longest queue is an empty ticket booth. Which states that Indians have to pay 200 Rupees for the gig. Whereas ‘foreigners’ like us have to pay 500. But that’s… discrimination!!!! And it is racist, and… and… and it wonderful. Because you get to pay a bit more, but you get to pay it NOW, rather than waiting for sometime tomorrow, when they wouldn’t let you pay the ‘residents rate’ anyway. And then you take your privileged, white, foreign, fascist ticket to the bus and, basically, walk straight to the front of that queue too.

In normal circumstances, I would have played the ‘I i-den-ti-fyyyyyy as a south Asian man called Ramesh’ card and saved the 3 quid. But to pay a few bob to jump massive queues? Holy moly, that is, literally ‘priceless’.

Lovin’ it here, still

A xxxx