Rachel Reeves broke down in tears in parliament yesterday. And in doing so, caused a ‘mini-Liz Truss’ and crashed the markets. Three tears, a major tsunami on the trading floor. Not that anyone trades on a ‘floor’ any longer. They sit in luxurious offices with their Gucci-clad feet resting on a desk made from one single piece of ebony, looking at 14 screens. All of which turned red before ‘Rachel from accounts’ could get a tissue out of her handbag.

Because we live in a world of ‘instantaneous’. No-one has to wait for the ‘late edition’ of the evening standard to know what happened at Prime Ministers Questions. They’re watching it live and reacting instantly with one click of the mouse. All of which puts a massive pressure on ministers NOT to fuck up.

Unfortunately our current government haven’t read that bit in the ‘guide to good government’. It’s page 527. Just after ‘don’t shag little boys in the ministerial car’.

Starmer has lots to answer for. But then he’ll u-turn and have a lot to answer differently. Which really doesn’t help. And when you’re standing at the dispatch box facing questions about your Chancellor’s future in the job, you don’t ’film-flam’, you don’t hesitate, you don’t obfuscate. And you don’t imply that she may be going only to state 3 hours later on tv that ‘she’ll be in her job for a very long time’. Because as we all know; 24 hours is a long time in politics.

I’ve always said that once any PM proclaims ‘their complete support’ for a troubled minister, that minister is history. Because if someone’s good at their job no-one asks the question.

Do I feel sorry for Rachel Reeves? Not when she’s ’part of the problem’, which is our current leaders’ inability to agree consistently on anything. And to be honest, crying? Really?? The most important minister in the country, after the tosser-in-chief, and she’s crying like Lila when Joey’s just beheaded her favourite cuddly toy.

People cry. Life gets emotional. But we’re British. We don’t do public wailing, chest-beating, ululating. And we can cry all we like. Crying makes you look human. Sensitive. Overly emotional. But in Parliament, it makes you look weak.

Starmer didn’t offer any comfort. Why would he. He has all the warmth of an air-conditioned vampire. All the compassion of a football hooligan. If he had offered a hand on the shoulder, a brief hug, some sign that he is in fact human, he would have looked strong. Instead, by doing nothing, he too just looked weak. A ‘typical man’ who freezes and looks away at any sign of emotion.

When a butterfly flaps its wings in China, it can cause a hurricane in Africa 2 months later. (It’s why you see so many Africans killing butterflies in Beijing). Small events, massive consequences. When a chancellor sheds a tear in parliament, billions get wiped off the bond market. But; instantly.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx