I embrace ‘new technology’. Normally, once it has had a chance to ‘mature’ a little and become fairly ‘old technology’. I’m scared of new shit, basically. Find it opaque, hostile and nasty. I was the last person in the world to use an app in any meaningful way. I only downloaded WhatsApp because of pressure and demands. Of course, once I overcome my seemingly endless ‘good reasons’ NOT to embrace some new feature or piece of kit and join the club, I become evangelical about it, in quite a smug way, obviously.

Now, of course, I have apps absolutely everywhere. I want one on the toilet, crAPP, or in the sandwich bar, bAPP, possibly wrAPP if I’m feeling exotic. I even have one for Mel; slAPP. Or my favourite: nAPP. And I have everything a state-of-the-art dude should have from Ring doorbell to (fucking) Alexa, to pads, pods, smart-shoes, everything.

I also have a sound bar. For the tv. I’ve had it ages. But was frightened to use it. Because… because its new. New-ish. I acquired it in a deal with a friend who was moving onto a boat and had to leave his vast and overkilled collection of massive TVs and accompanying paraphernalia behind. So I got an incredible tv and a sound bar in exchange for an incredible pair of spectacles.

TV was easy, off with the old, on with the new. After removing all the artwork from the wall as well, obviously, its a big tv. Moved the window away. So then, the other day, I remembered the sound bar (about 6 months later), dusted it off, plugged it in, battled with the instructions, phoned my brother (software engineer), and… it worked. Sorry, IT WORKED!!! Its loud. Wonderfully so. I finally had ‘volume 11’ which I’ve sought my whole life.

Then I found the sub-woofer which accompanied it. That was even easier, just plug it in and bluetooth does the rest. The little light turned to green and so I called up This Girl is on Fire (why would anyone ever listen to any other song?) and checked it out. It was brilliant. Rich. Then the drums and bass kicked in. The windows broke. Sofa fell apart. Tiles dropping from the roof. Perfect.

I love technology.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx