I’m not the world’s biggest tv watcher, (he says with the air of intellectual superiority alway implied in such a claim.) I’m too busy with further education, reading book things, learning encyclopediae and generally being a swotty, geeky, creepy git. I could be a tv watcher of premier league quality, but there’s too much ‘shit’ to do. So I become very selective.

I always watch the news. Have it on series record, in case I miss anything that Sophie Rayworth might need to tell me. Though I must admit that Coronavirus has almost cured me of my obsession. I now fast forward through the Covid reports because they are boring as fuck and we’ve quite literally heard everything they have to say about it before. Several times. Thousands of fucking times.

And my other obsession and my only foray into the world of any kind of ‘reality tv’ is the Bake Off. I don’t do the singing version, the sewing version, art, dancing, talent, pro-celeb mountaineering, Britain does Open Heart Surgery, or sailing. Only baking. Because its food. And I can just about tolerate Paul Hollywood whereas Simon Cowell makes my skin crawl. I try not to cry when someone goes home every week.

But you only need to watch something once. Because then you’re hooked. If tv is not addictive then its not working. So when people do the ‘you must watch…’ thing, it just means that they’ve watched it, and it hooked them. You may get hooked, in which case that’s a ‘brilliant program indeed’ or you hate it, and its shit. The only exception is Darts. Which unquestionably is shit, but watch one little arrow hit the target and you’re obsessed forevermore in a world where treble 19, bullseye, double 17 is only way out. (Not recommended for Diane Abbot).

So other than football, which doesn’t count, and Rockumentaries, which are compulsory, and dramas, which I like, and the news and box sets and everything else I like, I don’t watch much telly.

Happy viewing

A xxxx