ISIS have done some pretty horrible things. In fact virtually everything they do is horrible, that’s why they’re ISIS and not the Red Cross, or the Labour Party. Who also do horrible things, but on a different scale. At the moment, at least.

So apart from the beheadings, the mass exterminations in Syria and Iraq, the destruction of historic sites, the spreading of their death cult into as many other countries as they can. They’ve now, I feel, gone too far.

They’ve stolen the word ‘terrorist’ from our vocabulary. It used to be a general word to describe wanton acts of savagery and death in innocent populations, now its only terrorism if they do it. According to the mayor of New York.

Who, yesterday after the bombing attacks in Chelsea (the Manhattan one, not the John Terry one), said in an early interview that ‘these were terrible attacks but not done by terrorists’. Actually, Bill, they were done by ‘terrorists’ by any definition of terrorism. What de Blassio actually meant was that ISIS, nor any other fundamentalist jihadi group of murderers, had claimed the bombs. Still terrorism, even if the Klan did it. Even if some nutty schoolkid couldn’t get into his dad’s overstocked gun cabinet so took to www.make-a-bomb-easy-peasy.com instead.

I know, its only a word, but words are important.

Particularly the word ‘Loser’. And especially when applied to Jose Morinho. Because really you don’t often get the opportunity to use those words in one sentence. But the Jose ‘new broom’ effect is not currently doing its stuff for the red Mancs. And this is not a cheap, Robert Dyas type broom. This is the Bugatti Veyron of brooms. Gold-plated, diamond encrusted and hand-finished by Croydon virgins. (Virgins are rarer in Croydon than anywhere else… probably). This is the most expensive new broom anyone has ever bought, other than perhaps their neighbours Man City who purchased their version from Bayern Munich but who is at least proving its worth.

Man United went to Watford. A team I’m fond of because I know lots of Watford fans, one of whom is quite nice. And because they’re a lovely, little, humble football club with no delusions or pretences and I like that. And they beat United 3-1. Which, considering the differences in financial clout and history between these 2 clubs, is fucking awesome.

Spurs beat Sunderland. Didn’t see it; went to a wedding. In deepest, darkest Essex. But apparently we were pretty good, even though it only ended 1-0. And cost us Harry Kane, which is tragic. And Eric Dier AND Mousa Dembele. So possibly a very expensive match. Which is fine, it was a pretty expensive wedding.

We’re third in the league; we’re third in the lea–eague, happy monday, we’re third in the league (sing and sing and sing til… til… til something horrid happens)

A xxxx