More testing. Always testing. Testing, testing, testing…

This time its in Southern California (thus on geographical grounds is probably doubly worthless) and its about proteins. Ahhh, proteins, the ‘good stuff’. Yeah, well, it used to be. But no longer. It’ll kill ya fucking dead!

“Too much cheese and meat in middle age is recipe for early death” rang the headline. Well I’m fine then. Because I’m not middle-aged. Though I play bridge so I suppose on some level I must be a little bit middle-aged. And that term is a euphemism for ‘old’ anyway.

A cheese and ham sandwich (as well as breaking almost every law of ‘kosher’) is now the Russian Roulette of foods.

Yep, animal proteins, meat and cheese, in vast quantities (is there ever any other way to eat them? particularly in Southern California??) increases your likelihood of death by whatever percent over the norm of however many years that will be. Its all very conclusive and not vague at all.
And fancy publishing that article the week after I return from a trip to France? How dare they?? Not normally a massive cheese eater, my four day ski trip saw me put away about 18 kilos of the stuff. Its everywhere. Cheese fondue, cheese omlettes, pizza, cheese after every meal, in vast quantities. The French even eat it for breakfast. But they would. They’re French. If you smoke 50 untipped Goulouises a day, a bit of dairy fat’s the least of your worries.

So we can’t eat meat and cheese. Obviously carbs are out the question, sugars are the devil’s own food and is in half the fruit and vegetables we used to eat too. So that leaves water, obviously, and… and… errrr…

And chocolate. You can eat as much chocolate as you like because God wouldn’t have invented it if it wasn’t good for you.

Its all crap (eventually I suppose that is very true) and its all just excessive reductionism used to keep an entire industry’s worth of researchers in work. Otherwise they’d be on unemployment (where they should be) eating Cornish Pasties from Gregs and ham and cheese sandwiches and dying young and impoverished.

Reductionism is the paradigm of breaking everything down into smaller and smaller units to try and better understand it. Its a throw-back to the early days of atomic physics where everything was broken down into molecules, then atoms, then electrons and protons, then quarks and all manner of ensuing bollockage which, instead of producing ‘The Answer’ merely provided shitloads more questions that they can’t even answer at CERN, a hundred years and a hundred billion dollars later.

Because when you break things down you remove context and you remove the whole ‘sum is greater than the parts’ concept which is essential to real understanding. The physiological process involved, at a muscular or molecular level in writing your name on a birthday card is absolutely identical to writing it on a check for all the money you have. The same can be said for speaking the words ‘I love you for all eternity’ as opposed to ‘just fuck off and die!’. Identical at an atomic or biological level, slightly different in meaning.

So all reductionism is therefore total garbage. And thus, you have my blessing to eat what the hell you want. And loads of it. Make mine a double.

Happy Wednesday

Kill a scientist today,

A xxxx