Its here. Well, it soon will be. The rugby world cup final. Tomorrow at Twickenham. And though England won’t be in it, the game has an amazing power, even here. Its just two teams left. Australia. And us.

That’s the New Zealand ‘us’. Obviously. My team. My boys. My haka.

I’ve always had a thing about the All Blacks. Just the name was enough to conjure fear when I was just old enough to hear about rugby. England back then were all white and everyone else was shades of grey. Then they invented colour tv. And New Zealand were still All Black.

I loved the Haka, I loved the fact they wore black and most of all I loved the way they played the game. It was different. Faster. Harder. Somehow more natural, more comfortable. As if they were all born throwing rugby balls in the maternity unit at Wellington.

So I personally twinned Aukland with Ilford and adopted that nation as my own. But only for the rugby. The rest of the time you can keep that sorry, sheepy, empty waste-of-space for yourself, stuck out in the middle of fucking nowhere just above the South Pole.

New Zealanders are not just closet Aussies. Even though they can sound that way. Much as Canadians aren’t just closet Americans. They’re nations that are 99% similar to each other, but its that 1% that makes the difference. (Remember; we share 99% of our DNA with monkeys, so 1% can mean a lot. In my case. Not sure about you.) New Zealand is the Jeckyl and Australia the Hyde. The Kiwis being gentle (ruby aside), considered, quiet, thoughtful. The Aussies BIG, BRASH, FUCKING LOUOUOUOUDDDD, MATE, and spend most of most days swilling beer and swatting flies. If I was into national stereotyping I could have a field day with the Aussies, but quite frankly that’s beneath me.

And being my other half English, I’m fairly used to losing to both these nations at rugby on a fairly regular basis. So I can attest that its much nicer losing to the Kiwis than the Aussies. Its more understated. Just a matter of ‘job done, let’s go have a quiet glass of wine together’. Rather than FUCKING POMMMMMS!!!! And gloating, teasing, ripping and all that horrible really drunk stuff that Aussies do so very well.

Oh well, its all about tomorrow.

Bring it on.

Happy Friday

A xxxx