Oh my word. What a disgrace. How shameful. Forget groping Lib-Dem Lords, set aside quenelle gestures by footballers; Spearmint Rhino and the Apartheid regime are both insignificant as gestures of racism and sexism, compared to… to…
to THIS!!!!

Dasha Zhukova is sitting on a CHAIR!!!!!

What a total BITCH!!!!!! (what’s ‘bitch’ in Russian?)

But what a chair.

Its (apparently) a replica of a pop art 1960s chair designed by Allen Jones. Remember Allen Jones? He was the one who… who… oh alright, I’ve never heard of him either. Anyway, he designed furniture based upon scantily clad women because it was 1960, another world. In which they still had slavery, people smoked all day, you could still call a spade a spade and women stayed at home filling their husbands’ pipes ready for his homecoming at 5.37. Germaine Greer was still back in Australia where she belonged and the extent of someone’s ‘feminism’ meant how big their chest was.

Then a (bloody) Norwegian (typical!!!) re-did the chair, blacked it up and Dasha Z found one for her art gallery in Moscow. And had the damned cheek, the bald-faced nerve, the outright audacity not just to sit on it but to BE FILMED DOING SO!!!!
Might as well have raped the corpse of Nelson Mandela, all the fuss its caused.

I would have issues with Ms Zhukova on the grounds that she’s an oligarch’s daughter and she’s shacked up with Money-Launderer-in-chief, Chelsea boss Roman Abramovich, for whom she is much too good looking. But she can sit where she wants. On whatever she chooses. She can sit on Nicolas Anelka’s head for all I care. Its not a ‘gesture’, nor a ‘political statement’, its just sitting down. So why all the fuss?

Because this CHAIR(!!!!) represents a type of racist misogyny that simply doesn’t exist in our post-politically-correct world. Its an affront to every modern value in a world so obsessed with appearance, so devoted to sterility of both thought and action, so repressively determined never to cause any offense to any group, creed, race or sect, except Mormons, obviously, and Arsenal fans, that it has totally lost its perspective on history. And you should never judge history by modern values.

But they do. And in every paper is Dasha, sitting on ‘THAT CHAIR’, telling us how its A TOTAL FUCKING DISGRACE. To all humanity.

I actually like that chair. Because its funny. In any age, at any time. And it represents another world, which also adds to its charm.

So to the critics of Dasha Z (and not just because she’s really gorgeous, because that too would be a representation of chauvinistic horror) I’d just like to say: ITS JUST A CHAIR; SOD OFF.

Happy thursday

A xxxx