Football died yesterday. All of it. The whole game. Worldwide. A greater tragedy than the pandemic, a bigger disaster than the Titanic, a more devastating tragedy than Krakatoa and Pompeii combined. Because yesterday they started… The European Super League!!! It even has its own acronym. You ready? It’s the ESL. And that’s impressive that they worked that out so quickly. Though in time that title will change to the American Super League, (ASL), then just the World Super League (WSL) in line with American sports in general where the rest of the world doesn’t count.

They’ve been talking about a(n) ESL for many years. And by ‘they’, I mean ‘Americans’. Not all of them. About 359,999,997 are fine. It’s the other 3 who are the problem. Stan Kroenke, John W (for ‘WANKER!!!’) Henry and Any old Glazer as they’re pretty much interchangeable, except the dead one. All of whom are ‘owners’ of football clubs over here, and I would say ‘by hook or by crook’ but as they’re all crooks I won’t bother. They’ve all made their acquisitions by boardroom crockery. If Dick Turpin was alive today he wouldn’t hold up stage coaches. He’d perform a hostile takeover and use a leveraged buyout to steal everything instead. It’s the modern way. And by such means did such outlaws (if the law wasn’t as ass) acquired ownership of two of our most revered and esteemed football clubs. And Arsenal.

And because all three own sport franchises ‘over there’, they probably spend their whole time wondering why the Tampa Bay Buccaneers produces $5.7 billion in profit every year, whilst Manchester United loses £972 million over the same period. Even though that loss is leveraged against the loan that the directors took when they borrowed it against a different loan than they never took out in the first place, thus giving them $1.2 billion income. If you don’t understand the figures it’s because you don’t have a true love of sports.

The ESL is the singularly most horrible thing ever invented. And stupid. And will take everything we know and love about our game and ruin it. Americanise it. Draws will be banned. Small clubs no longer needed. Because tonight, LIVE ON ESPN, The mighty Toledo Hotspurs are playing Real Minnesota!!!! If it should be level after 90 minutes, all players will be armed and it will be sudden death to decide!!! But literally!!!!
God help us all. 

And yet, oddly, coincidentally, God did help us. By personally sacking Jose Morinho about 10 minutes ago from the team both He and I love. So suddenly: THERE IS HOPE!!!!

Shame on Daniel Levy. The only Brit among those mercenary Oligarchs, oil billionaires and Yankee robbers. 

Very unhappy, then suddenly very HAPPY Monday

A xxxx